In a daze

I feel so lost. Most of my relatives are gone--mother (31 years ago when I was only 24), my dad--when I was only 6, barely knew him), both sisters who were much older--(they were both over 25 years older than me), more recently, my wonderful husband.

My husband was my soul mate. We loved each other so much. Our life together spanned over 20 years with the majority of our time spent together. We could not attend church regularly due to our work schedules. But we do believe in God. Our recreational time was spent traveling the country and the world together. Now he is gone and I am LOST. We were not blessed with children. He was sick for over 15 years. So when he left a whole lot of me died with him.

The one person that I thought I had was my neice (she is 7 years older). But,a crushing blow--I found out that she probably never liked me although I loved her unconditionally. Although I confided in her for decades she was telling others my secrets and finding fault in most things that I did or said. She never told me anything that I did wrong just talked about me behind my back. Several people told me that she does not like me. So, now I feel like I lost my dear husband and my best friend. We no longer talk. I am crushed.

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