In love with my best friend.

by A.
(Netherlands)

For as long as i can remember I'm in love with this guy. Boyfriends came and went, but I always had a soft spot for him. I never told him, but over the years we became best friends.

This summer everything changed. I found out he also had feelings for me but never acted on these, because i had a boyfriend and/or because i was his best friend. He was now also in a relationship, so nothing should happen between us.

But it did. Two delicious months of romance, dating, kissing and more but also of pain, sadness and guilt. Me hoping he would leave his girlfriend.

Now it's over and the bad thing is it didn't only wreck our romantic relationship, but i also lost my best friend. I still love him and I've never felt more lonely in my life.

I know it might sound selfish posting it here, because I didn't experience death but i had to tell the story. Nobody in my surroundings can know about the secret relationship I had with my (ex?) best friend. This leaves me lonely, isolated and depressed.