in my memorie

by Shawn
(Dolezal)

I'm 24 as long as ive Been alive and growing up I've always Ben grandpa an dads baby boy. My dad worked in the oilfield all his life so he was gone anywhere from a week to months at a time while he was working me an gramps spent our days working on mowers go carts and picking up cans then going to bingo I was his shadow I could talk to him about any and everything an never said a word to anyone not even his wife. When dad came in on days off we were always under the hood of one of his cars or trucks dad was Ase certified and new everything three is to no about anything mechanical he was a walking repair manual and of course I wanted to be just like him. My 10th grade year I started getting into drugs really bad and staying away days at a time started stealing to get money then taking from them the ones who were the inspiration of my life. relationships faded but their love for me didn't . I went to prison for 2 years without a visit just calls and pictures when I got released my grandpa passed a year after Jan 16 2011. 6 days after his youngest daughter. Also the day before my birthday he was my best friend... shortly after my dad started gaining a lot of weight while he was on the drilling floor his leg was hurt so bad it busted open rushed to the er he spent 2weeks in critical condition once released he never went back to the rigs we started a mechanic shop he was the brains I was the mechanic we succeed and spent every day side by side for several years I met a girl and started a life of my own still working together then out the blue I received a call that he was in the hospital from a stroke I rushed there when they let us see him i made the nurses move him I no he was uncomfortable. Once relaxed I held his hand and joked about things that I knew would comfort him lol. He was on morphine so talk was short but good he fell asleep we left the house shortly after my brother received a call that he passed terms no way this is Really happening we were just laughing what am I gonna do without my repair manual this is not happening he"ll be home when I get up or be sitting in the shop waiting for me to bring a project in I wish he would get off and come home already I love you daddy we miss you BIGUN.

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Feb 10, 2014
in my memory
by: Doreen UK

Shawn I am so sorry for your loss of your father and grandfather from your life that has left you so lost, alone, and bewildered.
Your start in life was filled with sadness as you found drugs a way cope from having an absent father in your life. Your short time in prison and what you learned from that experience made you turn your life around to become more positive. You then had a good stable relationship with your father, and grandfather that was cut short by their deaths.
You can't lose what your grandfather and father put inside you by their interaction. You learned much at your father and grandfather's feet that will carry you through life. You won't lose what you have learned as long as you keep practicing. The rest you can learn from books.
You can now go on in life and honour your father and grandfather. You will be able to teach your own son's what you learned. Grief is hard and very painful. Often one will wonder how they will get through it. But you will. ONE DAY AT A TIME. I lost my husband to cancer 21 months ago and my sadness is that our almost 5yrs. old grandson will never learn his skills of being a carpenter, and a mechanic. My husband was multi skilled and could have taught his grandchildren much. What a loss to the world. I hope your life gets better in time and you have people in your life who can be taught by you and bring you comfort and joy to enhance your life.

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