is it normal to envy?

by bitter
(az)

Happy families everywhere, moms, dads and happy children.

My son lost his daddy before even meeting him.
I can't stand peoples perfect life.

I wanted a hapy life I wanted to have my husband hold his son. I miss my husband so much its not fair some people get everything they want but I am left heartbroken and alone.

People seem so happy with life while I can't stand mine.
I love my baby boy he is my life but its hard to be happy when I've lost the love of my life.

I needed to vent.

Angry at people, angry at life angry of crying wanting wishing hoping for a redo.

Comments for is it normal to envy?

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Oct 04, 2012
it also happen to me
by: Anonymous

I know how u feel i lost my husband 3 months ago and i have a 10 month old son that will never see daddy again.

Its very hurtfull!!! But we must stay strong and move on.. I know what u mean when u see everyone else happy as a family and we are left alone with the pain. But maybe one day soon we will meet another man that will take over the father figure to our son.. Stay strong and try and be positive. Even though its the hardest thing to go through..god bless.

Sep 26, 2012
is it normal to envy
by: silver

My husband died 16 months ago and often when I go places and see couples acting in love,I wish it could be me again.I wonder do they tell each other how much they love them. Do they know how little time they have. I so want to go up to them and tell them so. I want that again but only with my true love and I know it will never be again.ENVY--I think it's part of the grieving process for something we lost and want back.As I have read here and other places:We all grieve differently and at different rates.I think we all go through some of the same things also.Maybe not in the same order.In the meantime take care of yourself and GOD bless you and give you strength

Sep 20, 2012
is it normal to envy?
by: Doreen U.K.

I am so sorry for your loss of your husband and for the loss of a father for your son. Life is so cruel and unfair. You are expressing all the pain of grief and loss that we all on this site know well. Times we have cried out just like you for a fairer world. My sister used to say why does everyone get chicken and I get the bones. this is painfull when one has to ask God for a little sugar. I Believe and Trust in God but lately I have been mighty angry with Him. I couldn't understand why I had to see my husband die slowly of cancer. Lose weight, fade before my eyes. Desperate to Live. How my heart aches. I know how you feel. I feel so angry at those people who are laughing and so happy on TV. I know of so many preachers on TV healed of cancer. Why them? Why not my husband? Why does grief hurt so much? Why is such pain so hard and necessary? How does such pain benefit us? when our soul is torn in two and we can't go on. We cry out to God and it is as if He doesn't hear us. We despair of life. You are not envying those who are not where you are. You are shedding your grief. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER THIS LOSS! WHERE IS THE BALANCE IN SOCIETY! WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE NEVER TOUCHED BY TRAGEDY? WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS? This is not envy. IT IS RAW GRIEF. I get great comfort from watching the God channel. I get strength. But when they talk of people being Healed from Cancer. I turn the channell. I don't want to know that God heals Cancer. SOMETIMES. FOR SOME PEOPLE. NOT FOR EVERYONE. What good comes out of lonliness. NONE. Why do children have to grow up without a father? there are more questions than answers. This is a fight we all take each day. Hoping the next day will be less painfull. Maybe one day God will answer us personally. Because you see. God created marriage. God created companionship. God created woman for man. God is the only one with all the answers. So it isn't wrong to envy marriage. It isn't wrong to envy being a parent. It isn't wrong to envy companionship with the one we love. What lets us down is the marriage vows. "TILL DEATH US DO PART". Only God has this answer. I hope your grief days get easier and your pain less. May God Comfort you in your sorrow, pain, and loss.

Sep 20, 2012
Is it normal to envy?
by: Linda

I lost my son four years ago, and I feel a great deal of envy toward people who still have their children, and appear to not appreciate having them. I miss my son so much, and am only now, after four years, starting to recover a little. I am thinking of you.

Sep 20, 2012
Alive but dead
by: Anonymous

The father of my child is alive. We were in love, happy, young and building a life together. When I got pregnant he was ecstatic. After the sonogram he danced in the street when he found out that his child would be a boy and he kissed the tip of my nose and told me that he loved me. It was the last time I ever saw him.

He called later that evening and said he would not be back. He sent a friend to pick up his belongings. He never told me why, except to say his parents said that I was not good enough for him. I have a college degree and a good job? I didn't understand and the hurt was so deep that his death would at least given me closure.

Soon one day, my son will ask me about him. He will wonder why and still I struggle with what I will tell him. Oh - how much easier it would be if he were dead. I could tell my son what a fine man his father was and how much his father loved him. He would always be a hero to my son.

Hold your head up mom, your loved one did not leave you - his love will prevail and your son will always have a hero that once loved him.

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