Is it really over?
Is it really over?
I was with my common-law husband for over eleven years, we had always our ups and downs it wasn’t perfect by hey,,,nobody’s is: We have a wonderful son together he just turn eight years old. In may I was very upset at him because he didn’t attend my mother’s 60th, birthday party, after he promise he would come and spend that very special day with us, he was always present at all my family’s gatherings. I was very upset at him for not going that day, I gave him the silent treatment for about a week, after that week he asked me to talk we did, he said that he wasn’t bother by the fact that I wasn’t talking to him anymore, he said that we should go our separate ways, he said that he was asking God for guidance and that God listened to him because the next day he was feeling fine. He said that he wasn’t missing me, he said he was feeling fine without me. I didn’t fight him on that I just accepted it and said fine, if that is what you want there is nothing I can do about it, I told him that I was not going to change his mind.
We stayed in the same house (his parents house by the way) and he was acting normal, and so was I. He would asked me to watch movies with him, have a drink with him etc. SO I thought he just needed time to come around, he just needed nice quality time with me to come around. One day on June 21/13 I got very upset at him, I found out he had a secret facebook account. I confronted him about it and he didn’t denied it, I told him if he wanted me out of the house, all he needs to do is to say it. He said “If you want to leave just leave, I am not going to stop you” I was shocked to what he said I was very angry at that point I just grabbed a few things for me and for my son and I left to my mothers. A week an a half later he texted me trying to small talk, I was so angry at him I kind of ignored him, the same day he showed up at my work place with flowers, he said he needed to talk to me for at least five minutes, I agreed and we went outside my office to talk. He told me that he couldn’t live without me, that he misses me a lot, that is something stronger than him, that the things he said he said it out of anger and frustration, he asked me to come back home. The short of it all is that I did, I went home two day later after that. He was so sweet, and so caring, I really felt that big huge love he had for me. It was fine for a while after two months later we got into another argument and he said that same things, that he wanted out that he didn’t love me anymore that we both need to go our separate ways,, this time I didn’t want to leave the house (his parents house) as I thought he would change his mind with time again. I thought he was just angry and everything will be fine after a few days. It turns out it wasn’t going to get better, I came home after work to find out that he moved out of the house (his parents house) he took all his belongings and left me there and my son with his parents. I can’t never forgive him for that I felt so humiliated by him, and it was so embarrassing. I couldn’t believe it I couldn’t understand why he was doing that. I called him very upset, I was shocked, he answer the call and he talked to me, he said that reason he left was because being in the same house as me, was very tempting to him, I am still very physically attracted to him and that is why he left. He said he didn’t want to play with me or my feelings and he felt the that was the right thing to do. Then next day I started looking for my own place, and I found one within two days. I moved out two weeks ago.
On this past Saturday it was our son’s birthday and we spent the day together at a play ground for our son to have some fun. When I went home he started texting me, very sexual content on the texts, I was playing along at first, I kind of like it, he said he wants me, he needs me and that wanted to be with me. I told him we cannot do that anymore, that we are separated and we need to respect each other, and that I will never be just his booty calls, not never after being his wife for so long I was not going to get that low of just being the person who satisfy him sexually.
I also sent him a very detailed text message yesterday telling him the same things. That we have to have boundaries and we both need to respect that. Today he called me at work and asked me if I was sure about the text message I sent him, and I said YES. He kind of sounded like he wants to tell me something but he doesn’t. I do not know what to do; I know I don’t want to be with him just for sex. I really want to be with him forever. But he did a lot of things that hurt me, and I wish he apologized for that. He has not done that. Is it really over? Or does he just need time again. I know and I can still feel he has strong feeling for me. I need help some advice.
Broken Heart. Lisa