Is there a finish line?
My grief is I assume at the later stages. I do not really know what acceptance is. I suppose it is the ability to move on without the one person you thought made you who you are. Your other half the one that you talked to at the end of the day and woke up with ready to face whatever came our way. But the Our and the We is now me.
Acceptance- To accept what is and start over or move on as it is. I am not there by any means, today for example the winds blow warm, the trees are a fiery color just brilliant and beautiful. I acknowledge that fact I see it enjoy the view before me. Yet it brings on a really deep melancholy that I have not felt before. I do not cry yet feel something deep within that does not want to let go of Paul, what we had and should still have. I am not scared to be alone as some women are. In fact I am not scared at all.
This feeling deep within my soul is something indescribable that I have never experienced before. Not ready for another man at all. Not as angry seeing couples old, young in Love. Just wondering why can't I have that? Its an ache that differs from the rest. It's knowing what I knew all along and just not happy with the outcome.
Also, My 12 year old is fiercely protective of me. Cannot stand for me to talk to a man. Declares You Love Dad! Waiting for the bus yesterday with another parent (married with kids if it matters) Boo got off the bus and told the man stay away from my mom.
I know that it is "normal" as is this last bout of melancholy missing My Love sighing not crying. Does not make it any easier though...