It has been a year and my heart still breaks like the first day.
My mum died last year and the loss is still very difficult.Every second of every day I think of her and wish for one more minute with her, she died in hospital and I never got to say goodbye. I regret that I didn't get to spend more time with her in the weeks before she died as we knew she was in the end stages of heart failure.For some reason I wasn't expecting her to die suddenly and had no inkling that she was going to die that day as she appeared improved the previous night when myself and my sister in law visited her.She often complained of feeling lonely and I regret that I didn't do more like organise people to visit etc when I was at work. I know that she had carers coming in to look after her and family every weekend but I feel we as a family let her down by not being there 24/7.
I am especially sad today as I remember the happy days we spent together, our trips in the car, shopping and coffee.When does it get easier? I am crying as I write this, I feel I will never get back to normal again. Ava.