It hits hard sometimes

by jules
(Boonah, Qld, Australia)

Some of you will know me from other postings - I lost my husband 14 months ago (20 Nov 2009) - and I have had a lot of ups and downs - but this site has been my rock - I say thanks for it every day.

I had to go to a funeral on yesterday, my husbands cousin had been out to a party, and on the way upstairs to his flat, he lost balance, fell backwards, and died there - he wasn't found until the lunchtime the next day - and then by his 13 year old son - absolutely tragic.

Anyway, I thought I was strong enough to go, and went with my sister-in-law - but sitting there in the church just made me realise how cruel life is sometimes, I cried, not only for our cousin and his family, but for myself and my loss, and for the pain that I knew his family were in for (he was divorced, but still friendly with his ex) - he has left the 13 year old and a 19 year old daughter.

Then today, my daughter tells me that my grandaughter (whose mother refuses to allow to have anything to do with her father, or any of his family) has a facebook page, but we can't access it to send a message - seeing her beautiful, sad little face just broke me up - I miss her so much - haven't seen her for three years. She wasn't even allowed to acknowledge her grandfathers death - how cruel is that.

Tell me why it is that good people get taken, and the bad ones live on - sometimes life just not seem very fair.

but - one step, one breath
take care

Comments for It hits hard sometimes

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Feb 08, 2011
M Mack
by: It hits hard sometime I know

Hi Jules,

I want to thank you personally for offering your support when I had my meltdown. When those days come around, I don't remember much but you told me that whatever is right for me is what I need to do in my grief process. There is no right or wrong and I believe that. Anyway, I too have a wake tomorrow. I hope I can handle it. Yes only the good die young and his widow is in her numb stage. I'm sure she will hate the survivors club as we do.

I know you are missing your grandaughter in your life. No matter what, you shouldn't be deprived and the poor child should know you. I hope this works out for you even if you have to eat a little crow. It might be just the thing you need and is too short. Let the ruthless mom be who she is. She has a long life to live with that one. Take care and stay strong. Good luck and you have my prayers.

Feb 08, 2011
Yes it does...


I do not think that I could go to a funeral. I have not been to many to begin with. I am still grieving/healing and do not think that I would be able to attend. When someone else becomes a widow looses a husband, parent or child I know how hard it is to go through the grief process. I can't just blow it off like I am so sorry and go about my merry way. We know what it is like to go through and perhaps we relive that pain seeing someone else just starting the long grieving process. You have always had a wonderful way of seeing things and I have admired you will from the beginning. Though I know that you have your blue days too. Some days we do go backwards and have to remember one breath one step to get through the days still huh?
My best to you always...

Feb 08, 2011
You are So Brave
by: TrishJ

Jules~What a brave lady you are. I'm so sorry to hear about further tragedy in your life. My husband passed away 10 weeks ago. He was on the UNOS list in the US awaiting a cardiac transplant. It didn't happen.
My 10 year old grandson asked me about a year ago, "Grandma is grandpa going to die?" I said, "I hope not. We have to pray that he gets his heart transplant." He responded, "So you're asking me to pray for some young person to die so grandpa can get their heart?" I said, "Of course not!!"" He said, "Well that's what would have to happen!" I thought to myself, this child is right. That is what would have to happen. I tried my best to explain to him that God takes good, kind, young people every day and that it's God's will. I don't understand God's will myself that much (I don't feel any of us really do) so trying to explain it to my 10 year old grandson wasn't easy. I seem to have been hit with more tragedy in my life than so many of my friends. I don't understand how some people seem to sail through life without much grief and sadness.....but maybe they don't have real true love in their they don't have much to grieve for. I've lost a lot but I am thankful to God that I had that love in my life.
Hugs and blessings to you.

Feb 08, 2011
for Jules
by: Mari

I am sorry for the loss of your husband's cousin and the issues going on with family. It appears that a whole lot of things are going on at once.It must be awful for you.
Obviously you are a caring person.
There are so many things we cannot control in this life. All we can do is leave it up to the Lord.
You have been through a lot as it is.Do you realize you lost your husband 2 days before I lost mine?
It really hurts my feelings to see my husband's name on any mail and I have tried to change everything.Yet stuff still comes in but not as much.I miss him but am accepting the fact that he is no longer with me until we meet again someday in heaven.
As for the granddaughter I would pray for her because she needs it. I don't know why adults put the kids in the middle like that.I would think situations could be handled with the children in mind. But not everyone feels as we do.
Please take care of your self and just had these issues over to the Lord. Remember that we care very much for you. God bless you.

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