It hurts all the time

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere and then started dating my best friend a week later. Clearly, thses feelings they had for each other did not develop over night and I feel as though I was completely betrayed by the two closest people in the world to me. Now, I have nothing and they have each other. I lost both of them and it sucks so much everyday.

My boyfriend at the time and I had been getting into stupid arguments over the phone because we were long distance and it was difficult, but none of the fights were anything life altering in my eyes. But, he didn't want to be in a relationship that was hard anymore and he broke up with me two days before I had to take a CPA exam for my job. I couldn't focus on anything at all and failed the exam.

I also found out that my mom has cancer the day after he broke up with me. It was the worst feeling in the world because there was no one to be there for me. I called my best friend for comfort whom was in the same place as my ex. She was very comforting and caring about everything.

Then my mom had surgery and a few days after her surgery I was visiting her in the hospital and I received a phone call from my "best friend" because she wanted me to hear right from her that she and my ex had developed feelings for each other and had been hanging out a lot and that this was just the beginning for them.

I had a plane ticket to visit this girl for the end of that week. I had to change my flights and visited another friend. And I have not spoken to this girl since that phone call.

It hurts so bad to have to deal with everything all at once and I feel like it will never get better. It feels so unfair that they get to be happy while my family is going through the biggest struggle ever with my mom battling cancer.

I am so angry and hurt every day it's hard to get out of bed. But I have to for my family. I just hate that I still miss them both and that I wish for my old life back, even though I know that logically they are not good people or people I need in my life. I just miss being happy.

I'm so sad all the time and there are certain things I cannot even do without thinking about the two of them, and I want to throw up everytime. I just want this all to go away so bad. And I know that I need to focus on my mom right now, but its so hard to compartmentalize everything because every time something is going wrong at home I get angry at them for being happy together. I just feel like there will never be anyone else and that my life will never be good again.

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