It Hurts

On June 13th 2013 my beautiful mum died of a massive bleed to the brain, it was totally unexpected and a massive shock to the whole family.
It was just a normal Wednesday, mum had had her hair cut in the morning done some sewing in the afternoon and cooked and eaten dinner with my dad and niece. Dad said he went out the room and came back a few moments later to find mum being sick in the sink, she then cleaned it all up as my mum was always so house proud. My dad then said he saw it happen the whole of her left side just dropped.
I had a phone call at 7.30 from my niece telling me what had happened so started to arrange things so I could travel up to be with my mum. My parents live in Derbyshire and I'm in Dorset.

Then at 9.20pm the nightmare began, I had a phone call from the nurse at the hospital saying I needed to get there as soon as possible as mum was in a coma and not going to make the night. It was 1.40am when I arrived at the hospital and my beautiful mum died in my arms at 2.05am .... She had waited for me to be with her before she passed away.

My mum was on 64, she wasn't sick in anyway and I just cant understand why or how this can have happened. My mum was my core and now she''s gone.
Everyday I just cry and feel so lost without her.

Comments for It Hurts

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Aug 20, 2013
Same here..
by: Anonymous

Gosh I just really feel your pain right now. Even half way across the world (Im in Australia). In 2 weeks it will be the first anniversary of my mums passing. She died of a similar thing, we had no idea anything was wrong.
I know the chaos of those moments and the emptyness that follows. Somedays (like today) I just cant stop the tears from flowing. But reading your post makes me want to try and pass on some hope. I know it sucks. theres no other word for it; its unfair, it sucks. But you will be okay. I know it seems like life has probably stopped, but you will be okay. Slowly, with time.
Wrap yourself in the support and love of close family and friends if you can. Dont be afraid to seek the help of a grief councillor (someone on here suggested that for me and I found it really helpful). When grief comes upon you (because thats what it feels like, BAM! out of nowhere it just comes!) know that its okay to stop and cry. To take the afternoon off if you can.
But most of all, know your not alone. I feel your pain, and my heart goes out to you, it really does. Your in my thoughts and prayers, take care.

Jul 12, 2013
Alone
by: Gary

I lost my mom and I imagine the loneliness is the worst part. My friend said it best. You can be in a room with one hundred people but you still feel alone. A mother is a person we run to with your hopes and fears. The void is very present. Reading about grief and talking to friends helped. You hurt because you love and miss her. Things do get better but the void is there almost taking the place of her presence. Be kind to yourself and take care.

Jul 11, 2013
Me too
by: Anonymous

My mother passed away of the same thing this year on May 13th right at noon. Out of the blue, no illness at the age of 67. It has rocked our family and I'm in just feeling lost and the deepest sadness fog I've ever felt. My heart goes out to you.

Jul 11, 2013
It Hurts
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your Mum to a sudden death. We are never quite prepared for those sudden deaths e.g. a brain haemorrhage, or even an anerurysm or heart attack which happen so fast one doesn't have time to prepare for this type of loss. After my husband died 14 months ago I feel vulnerable to a sudden death. I am now trying to prepare a book for my daughter with all the stages she has to prepare for this. I have already got my grave plot in the same grave as my husband. My daughter only has to arrange the funeral and flowers and I will also try and fill in the gaps so she is able to continue the entry for the gravestone. I did it nice for my husband so it will make it easier for my daughter. Before my husband died we didn't talk of death but also knowing it will happen. We are meant to enjoy life. But when death comes it evaluates our whole thinking process to include death and also to tackle these things we don't want to talk about. IT DOES HURT. A sudden death is harder to cope with which is why some people go and see a grief counsellor to help them over the worst of the grief process. Try CRUSE bereavement services. It will give you the space and time to talk about your mum and how her sudden death has affected you. You can also keep a journal and write in this all your feelings and loss and this is also a therapeutic way of coping with grief. You can even write letters in your journal to your mum. We all think we are going to have our loved ones with us forever into their old age. But today more and more people are dying earlier. Many business's are folding today at an alarming rate but the funeral business is the one that will never fold, sad to say. We will all face this one day but we have to find a way to go on as difficult as it is for us. I hope that you have supportive friends and family to help you cope with the loss of your mum and know that you will get your life back. Grief is a long and slow process but we all survive it and manage to find life again but it will never be the same for any of us.

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