IT JUST FEELS SO BAD

by Jack
(NYC)

It's coming up to 8 months now since my partner of 20 years passed away. I have moved home to NYC from Sweden and am slowly building a new life. Things are moving in the right direction I guess and coming home was the best thing I could do but I'm just so sad. I've just sat here on my sofa and my eyes filled with tears. I miss him so much all of the time.
I don't know what else to do? I feel so alone even though I have such wonderful friends here and such great support.

My heart is broken. In many ways I think I feel worse then I did 3 months ago! I'm writing here again because it helps. All of you know how I feel. I pray for all the people on this websight for some kind of peace. Please pray for me too. Thanks! Jack

Comments for IT JUST FEELS SO BAD

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Dec 17, 2011
In your boat, Jack
by: Cliff

On December 2, 2011, my partner of 32 years passed
on to find his resting place in the sky. He had been sick for long time., But I was right there by his side till the end. The only peace I have is knowing he's not hurting any more. Yes the pain runs deep in my heart and don't when or if it will go away. He always told me he would be there waiting for me, when it came my turn.
It's only been two weeks.
Julie if you are still out there, You told jack
you would be praying for him in his grief,Would you mind adding me to that list. I'll do the same for You and Jack, we really need each other... I feel like no-one else understands.
Prayers, Cliff

Nov 14, 2011
Grief is so hard...
by:

Jack,

Grief is so very different for all of us. Yet we do have feelings of grief that we can relate too. This site has been a life saver for me. It helps me through the dark and the light that is the roller coaster of grief. I know that it feels like one step forward and two steps back. There will be more good days with occasional bittersweet memories. You will remember your love with tears but one day you will remember him with smiles and realize how very lucky you were to have such a fantastic Love in your life. It is hard to see the positive in grief. It comes much later it is the lesson that we learn as we try to carve out a life for ourselves. We will never be the same but we can evolve and be the very best of ourselves. It does take time until then, try to see all the beauty that you can. Get out and take in as much as you can. I know that it is hard. But we are here always to help you through the rough spots. Take care and visit here often. You are in my prayers Jack.
HH

Nov 14, 2011
It Sure Does
by: TrishJ

Jack~
That is exactly what I'm going through. I think for the first several months our mind and body mercifully goes into a state of shock. As the reality starts sinking in ~ the real pain begins. I ofter wonder will anybody ever love me and understand me again like he did? Probably not. We who are so fortunate to have the love of a true soul mate can't even think about ever finding that again. This is unfortunately the price we pay for such sweet love.
All we can do is do our best. One day at a time. I'm coming up on the first year anniversary of my husband's death and I fear I've been back sliding instead of making any progress. I don't like this new life. I don't like any part of it. Everyone says with time..........I just don't know. I wish I could be more positive for you. If it helps at all you are not alone.
Take care Jack.

Nov 14, 2011
Prayers
by: Julie

Jack its now my turn to pray for you..from my previous post you know exactly where I am and I too know where you are. We have to hold each other up and when I find a strong minute I must remember you and pray for you just like you did for me in one of your strong minutes.

God will keep us and carry us through this most difficult journey that we've ever faced. Its certainly a journey that we would never choose or even want...but here we are.

Just remember that I care and am on this roller coaster with you..

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