It just hurts so much
I lost my dear, loving and wonderful Mom recently. I'm 30 years old. I'm having such a hard time coping, putting one foot ahead of the other. I'm struggling to survive, yet I have to since Mom wanted life to go on. I try to honour that, it just seems so impossible as I have no strenght left to bear this.
It breaks my heart to see the pain in the rest of the family's eyes, it breaks my heart that I will never get to touch Mom, kiss her, hear her voice, it's just so hard to cope. It's summer - she should be on Holiday with my loving Dad, exploring and adventuring, gardening, barbecuing and gather us around the dinner table the way she loved. I have so much pain in my body, in my head, but most of all in my heart. I try to stay strong, I try to think of all the loving memories I'm blessed to have, I try to survive. I cry because of the loneliness, of the pain we all feel, of what she never got to experience and of what I never will get back.
"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have".