it just wasn't right...

by Elizabeth
(Cleveland)

I was (am) a single mom, he was a single dad and he walked into my life and swept me off my feet. we didn't care what anyone thought, we knew what we wanted and we ran with it. we moved in together after 4-5 months. i have so much guilt for uprooting my sweet daughter and doing this, however she was well adjusted and loved him and his daughter very much! she starting calling him daddy after about a year or so, he was all she ever knew as a dad. about 2 years into the relationship, we were engaged, and something in my heart was telling me it wasn't right. i wouldn't/couldn't even plan anything and everyone kept asking, why aren't you planned your wedding?? i had a million excuses why i wasn't. no one knew a thing, no one knew i was miserable and all i could see when i pictured our wedding was me walking down the isle knowing, it would NEVER last...
i tried so hard to make it work, for him, for me, mostly for the girls... all we did was fight though and i felt that all my feelings were inadequate and needed to be suppressed. i lost who i was throughout the relationship and needed to be set free. so i freed myself... it's been over 5 months and the past couple weeks i have been overcome with sadness thinking of him. i don't want to remember how nasty it got in the end, how he screwed me over financially. it doesn't matter, he knew i was capable of picking up the pieces which sometimes i think it's why he did it but i don't have anger about that. i miss the good times and i don't want to feel anything towards him. Not anger, not sadness, nothing. I thought this part of the grieving stage was over and it feels like a title wave coming back. Now I am fearful that my daughter wasn't able to express how she was feeling and I try to gently bring it up sometimes to ask if she is OK and she really seems to be. all her teachers at school said you would have never known we went though what we did. that is a relief to me but i'm not sure what to do with the sadness i am feeling... however i know with all my heart i choose the right thing for me and my sweet daughter...

Comments for it just wasn't right...

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Jul 03, 2012
it just wasn't right
by: Doreen U.K.

Elizabeth I am sorry for the loss of your relationship. You will be sad for a long time. You will remember the good times and want them back. this is natural. You made the right decision made with your head and not your heart. You applied WISDOM. You did what you needed to. Often we think that staying in a relationship for the children is the best thing to do. But it isn't. It can be more harmfull and destructive. God called us to live in HAROMONY. I have every admiration for people like you who have the WISDOM to walk away and do what is right. In marriage problems just get worse and what cannot be resolved before marriage will get worse within marriage. My son should have walked away from his girfriend and instead he married her. This is disaster. It would take too long and not be able to post here. It is a destructive relationship. When his wife decides not to bring her ex boyfriend into the marriage then things will get better for my son. But until then we have to exit. I hope things work out for you and that your grief will lessen in the days ahead and you will start to feel stronger and realize you made the right decision however painfull it is. I applaud you for being strong and knowing what to do and doing it.

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