it will be 8 months sence i lost my son my dest friend

by gaynel diamond
(bedford ind.)

I lost my son my best friend, may 17th 2013. It hurts just as bad today as it did that day. We lived within 2 blocks of each other, and got together every day. I get up every day put on my fake smile for my only son, 3 granddaughters and my mother. I am so lost without him, we Hung out all the time. Now I don't know what to do with my time. I don't get to see my grandchildren like I should, just want my Bradley back. They tell me I am keeping him from resting in peace by not letting him go, do I have that guilt. But I don't know how. Just lost well going to try to get some sleep witch doesn't come easy either. Happy new year to everyone

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Feb 21, 2014
I lost my son as well.
by: Chash

I so relate to your loss. I lost my precious baby boy, he had just turned 40, last April 26, 2013. He was a law enforcement officer and died while on duty. He was killed instantly. He was my best friend, my champion, my confidant. We talked at least once a day. He left behind two beautiful daughters, 12 and 5. His birthday is coming up on March 6 and the closer it gets the more I feel this horrible pain. I don't expect anyone who has experienced this to understand, (friends and family), but it is so hard not to have someone to talk to that does understand. I have only recently begun to talk about it. I don't understand why I keep waking up every morning. I have two other children who I love but not as close to as my youngest. I never thought I would survive the death of one of my children, but yet here I am trying desperately to move forward and resenting that I have to. Being with his children is joyful and yet so painful I can hardly stand it. Everytime I look at their precious faces I see him and I think how awful it is they don't have him in their life and how he won't be there to walk them deown the aisle or hold his grandchildren. It has shaken my faith in God to the core and I am trying desperately to find my way back. I am looking at bereavement retreats because I think it would help to spend some time with others that have suffered the kind of loss I have. This website has brought some comfort to me though because it does help me to know I am not alone and there are others who indeed do know what I am going through.

Jan 17, 2014
Sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

Yes losing your first born son is so hard. I lost mine as well. He still lived at home, stuggled with drugs, wanted to get better, but couldn't. Oh why couldn't I help him. I miss him so much. I would have done anything for him. My life will never be the same.

Jan 11, 2014
Your son
by: Michelle

Ive just passed one year of the loss of my daughter. I can't believe how much I have come to not caring about anything anymore. I no longer look forward. If I wake up for another day then I go through the functions. If I were not to wake up, bonus.
Somedays I am soooo mad, everyday my heart aches. I am hallow and numb. It's of little comfort trust me I know but we here on this site live each day in agony like you. We no longer live but exist. I hope you find peace someday but that is really a mouthful coming from someone such as myself who cannot possibly believe peace exists. Hugs to you from me

Jan 03, 2014
Lost my son
by: Terri

I lost my son Kyle to a drug overdose in June 2012, no day will ever be the same and now Im at an anger point where nothing is right, I just dont want to be here anymore. Dont care if anything gets done, dont care if Im here or not, but I have his daughter that I look at and everything about her reminds me of him, he was my best friend, we fought all the time because we were just alike. Guilt floods me everyday.

Jan 02, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

Oh my heart goes out to you.
My son died Nov. 2012 and
He was my son,my friend,my love.
They are so important to us. We were
Best of friends also so I do understand
Your pain. It is so hard ,I don't know how
We go on really,only by strength beyond
Our own. I send you love as only mothers
Understand this horrible loss. We must keep
Trying to continue on for the others that need us.

Jan 02, 2014
My Son My Best Friend
by: Christine

Gaynel, I to lost my best friend, my son just a little over one year ago. He was 38 and my only child. He never married. He had gotten engaged just three months before he passed. He was living with me and we to did everything together. Our loved ones mean well with their advice but losing a child tears your heart in half and you never get over it. I still feel like it just happened, and I wait for him to come home. I am not married and have no grandchildren, both my parents are also gone. You have family close to you, spend a lot of time with them. As for me I turn to God. He has brought me comfort and strength. I do thank Him for giving me such a caring, loving son, and for the time I had with him. I have a lot of wonderful memories. Time lessens the pain but I do not believe it will ever go away. Cherish all the time you had with your son. God gives us our children to love and teach, and sometimes He takes them to soon. I know that my son and I have just taken different roads for now, someday we will meet again. God bless you. My prayers are with you. Christine

Jan 02, 2014
your son
by: Jolynn

I am so sorry you lost your dear son and friend. I lost mine too. He was 26 years old and was a courageous officer in the Marines training to be a fighter pilot. It has been a year and still, I am so terribly sad but it is a little easier to handle. Tell us about your son. What was he like? My son was a thrill seeker who played every challenging sport you can think of. He was a belt away from black in military martial arts. He was a pro marksman. He was extremely funny. Used to get teachers mad in high school because of his humor. He was outgoing and warm had many devoted friends and was also warm and kind and sensitive. He was ready to die for his country and his fellow Marines. I miss him so much. Every day is a challenge. I wish you some peace. It is the hardest journey we will ever face but unfortunately we must walk thru grief. I am wishing that I will see my son again and so each day is not so much a day without him but rather another day closer to him.

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