It's Becoming Less Hard
Hi all, it's been exactly 3 months today since my love died. The moments I thought were impossible to have, have come. I think it's because I allow myself to grieve as much as I need to, not caring if anyone sees me or about their looks .
I went to a movie with a girlfriend and it was nice to get out as I was always very social before. I arrived home by 9:30 p.m. and was normally 30 minutes past my bedtime with my love.
Thanksgiving came and I decorated as I normally would have for him and got through it.
I also began a journal and write in it everyday, I write to him most times but some days I write of my day and what I do and how I feel.
This past week end I went to a holiday party my girlfriends home and saw a few people I used to work with and met new folks. A song played that was popular when Chuck and I met and I cried quietly but I went on and no one seemed put out, they actually understood. I danced and enjoyed the evening except for when a lady came up to me and said "oh, you'll get over it". I arrived home by 11:45 and sat and wrote in my journal before going to bed.
The Christmas tree sat in a box for 3 days and yesterday I said either put it back in the garage or put it up. Chuck would want me to decorate for him so I began and got it done. Yes, it's tough not seeing his delight as it was finished but it's done in case he wants to drop by.
I keep praying to dream of him but it hasn't happened yet.
My life has to go on so I have to make the best of it. I'm hopeful for the future But get over it...Never!