It's been 14 years since she was murdered...

by Christian Pinto
(Pasadena, CA)

I was 14 when she died and my heart still aches when I remember her. I'm 28 now and I've gone through a breakup that I realized, through counseling, has become exacerbated by the similarities to my relationship with my mother.
I felt I needed to write this so that someone might know my heart without me having to confide in someone. My ex cannot know how badly she hurt me because she doesn't understand my loss. She has never lost anyone. It's not her fault that she doesnt understand and I can't hold her responsible for the correlation I see. But, nevertheless, this has opened up wounds which are still so deep and painful. I want the 2 issues to be separate but I cannot disentangle them. It just hurts so bad and I'm emotionally distraught on multiple fronts as a result.

Comments for It's been 14 years since she was murdered...

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Nov 23, 2013
It's been 14 years since she was murdered...
by: Doreen UK

Christian I am sorry for your loss. This happened when you were 14yrs. and so young to process your loss. You may have repressed a lot of your feelings and thoughts and as you have matured through the years many feelings disturb you and are pressing for resolution. A good counsellor or psychologist should be able to help you separate and disentangle your emotions and feelings. I was repressed and depressed for 40yrs. and everything was tangled up and I couldn't function anymore. I had an excellent psychologist/counsellor and it took only 4yrs. of therapy to resolve 40yrs. of unhappiness. I have never felt such inner peace and freedom and this was a good investment for me. You didn't say how long you have been in counselling. Don't give up on counselling. If it isn't working for you then find a psychologist and do the work and you will never again feel the way you do now. You sound as if you are tortured. whilst doing the work in therapy nothing made sense and I would go back for another dose and leave disoriented. But one day I woke up and started feeling better in a different way, as if someone breathed life into me and my world changed for the better. Don't give up on the work you do in counselling and it will pay off. Don't try so hard. Relax. do the work and you will benefit in time. Often we are anxious for change and to free ourselves from our own inner pain. But this takes time. Healing is a slow process. Don't give up HOPE!.

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