It's been 17 days today

by Jojo
(San Antonio TX US)

My only brother was found in a hotel room Sunday September 2nd 2012. I played the voicemail and my mom saying "your brother is dead " I just went numb and I still feel that way. I feel like the only person that shared all our growing up memories is gone. I'm just sick. Like that terrible aching feeling. I don't know how to handle this. I'm trying to hold my parents up so I am very strong in front of them because I don't want them to worry about me. I get the feeling like I can't even breathe and that I will never be he same. I wish this was just a nightmare.

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Oct 31, 2012
We know how you feel
by: Clerissa n Ram

My brother Ram and I know exactly how u feel.
We lost our brother Ricko going to be seven years on
November 11. My prayers go out to you and your family.
I don't know if you will read this, but we can reached at We've been looking for people to relate too without having to hinder our faith.

Sep 20, 2012
Its been 17 days today
by: Doreen U.K.

Jojo I am sorry for your loss of your brother. Your sibling that you can no longer share memories with. Numbness is the first stage of grief. It is as if your feelings are frozen. You can't feel. You are in shock. When you thaw out the crying and searching will start. You will expect your brother to come through the door. thinking this is all a nightmare and you will wake up and find that you only dreamt it. I still wake up in the night and feel panic. Did this really happen. Did my husband really die. Because my husband worked all over the world all his 47yrs. working life I spent a lot of time on my own. So I am thinking Steve is coming home some time. My REALITY is becoming distorted. You may face this. You may not. Everyone grieves differently for different lengths of time. Grief hurts so much. It lasts longer than the human body can take. My body is sore with grief. I feel as if I am going to have a heart attack. I am afraid to go to sleep because when I wake up my Steve is not here. Our grief is so personal that we feel all alone with this. But the pain and sorrow is the same for all of us. We don't make ourselves grieve. It just happens. We don't plan it. It just happens automatically. We can't turn off the tears. They just happen. Anywhere. Anytime. Our tears become a river that flows into a sea and causes us to feel as if we are drowning in our grief. Then in time. WE HEAL.

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