It's been 17 months since my Husband's death and I feel like I am a different person
My Husband of 30 years died 17 months ago from stage 4 lung cancer. He lived for 2 months, and 2 chemo treatments after his diagnosis. Everything was so quick. He stopped being able to walk without a walker, and couldn't do anything for himself. I was his caregiver and we never made it to get hospice help. He worked for 1 month after his diagnosis but had to take leave after that as he was so weak and was wasting away to nothing. The morning of his death, I called 911 as he had passed out. When I got to the ER, he was hooked up to iv's as the Doctor's were trying to get his blood pressure up. His organs were failing. He was in so much pain and asked me to help him but to do that the iv's had to be taken out. I didn't hesitate and I had a legal documentation, so I asked that every iv be taken out and that he be given something for his pain. While he was getting morphine, I held his hand and told him how much I loved him and that it was alright for him to let go. He was holding on for me as he told our Daughter's how worried he was about me. He looked into my eyes and then passed away. I feel like I have made a lot of changes since his death. I sold our condo and moved to a new (smaller) town and bought a new home. I am meeting new people, although it is hard. I am not dating yet as I just can't go there. I think of my Husband all the time. I am not crying as much and a lot of the times, I remember all of the good memories. I just miss him so much!!! This is really hard.