It's been 4 years tomorrow

by kathee
(sacramento, ca)

Tomorrow, October 19 marks the 4 year date of my wonderful best friend and brother left us from a heart attack. He was 54. He was scheduled to have open heart surgery the very next day but he never made it. I still miss him as if it were yesterday. I did have a dream 2 days after he passed where he was in the backseat of my car and I was hitting him yelling at him telling him it wasnt funny because he was dead how could he be in my car. It was odd though, he was younger, much younger, it looked like he was in his teens. He held my hands and wrapped his arms around me and said to me "Kathee, I don't hurt anymore and I am so much happier now. You need to be with mom and dad now because I cant be there to help anymore" Then I woke up crying. I shared that story at his funeral. 3 weeks later, (November 7, 2008) my mom passed away from renal disease. She gave up her dialysis because my brother passed. Then dad came to live with my husband and me. 7 months later, June 5, 2009 dad went to join my brother and mother.

It still feels like it all just happened but each day I am finding a reason to smile at the things that remind me of them.

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