It's been a year

by Elizabeth
(Raleigh, NC USA)

My divorce was finalized a year ago, after a year of separation beforehand. I was married to my spouse for only 4 years, together for 7. There were no warning signs before we married that life would change. After 6 months of being married, he decided he didn't want children, but I prolonged the relationship to see if he might change his mind. I was 29 years old at that point. 2 years later, it ended.

I made some very drastic decisions, which I should have waited to make. I moved out of our house, to another city nearby some friends of the family, and started a new job. At the end of the separation year, I lost my job, then spent 3 months searching for another. Going through all of the pain at one time was not helpful.

Now a year after the official divorce, I am trying to comfort myself more than ever. I have a fantastic job, but with high stress moments. I am finally seeing the grieving process unfold, and it's been 2 years since I have let it transpire. I'm starting to feel less angry at myself and my former spouse for the way life seemed to deal me a negative card.

At this point, I am trying to take time for me on a daily basis to reflect, and write in a journal. However, I seem to get stuck in a pattern of wanting to be in a healthy relationship again, even if not with my ex husband, but feel somewhat jaded that it will ever happen again. I met him online, and just don't even want to explore that avenue again. There are so many things that make it hard to feel like I can just move onward at this point. I definitely feel stuck, but not hopeless.

Comments for It's been a year

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Dec 15, 2010
Love Will Find It's Way Back To You
by: Julie

I felt compelled to respond to your post. Please don't lose hope about finding love in your life again. You are YOUNG!!! You may have MANY blessed loves in your life to come. Love ALWAYS finds a way. And once you are with your new love--and having a family if that's what you choose--you will look back with understanding of why marriage to your ex was not meant to be.

Life is mysterious. You never know how love will come back to you. You may slowly start to notice guys you pass on the street and just naturally find yourself saying,"Wow. He was kinda cute!!!" Or, you might meet a guy and feel that spark overcome you without even thinking about it. It's just there.

In the meantime, here's some thoughts that helped me through the grief of my divorce: "I am willing to trust and fully let go with blessings." (It's just being WILLING that makes the difference.)"It just wasn't meant to be." "He deserves to be happy, and so do I" "One door closes, and another opens".

Many Blessings and Healing to You.

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