Its More than Grief Now
Its more than just words on a Stone
I have wondering for sometime about counseling. To me I'm feeling depressed, lost and spiraling out of control. I thought it was the 1 year mark coming so I just held on for dear life and let it take me where it would. Problem is I'm experiencing more than that.
Depression is an emotional disorder marked by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration and feelings of dejection, a state of being depressed, affected with emotional depression.
I feel a darkness that covers me like a blanket at time so tight I can't breathe and I just want to close my eyes and let it take me away. I went back on my postings and I'm finding the pain, desperation and despair I wrote so overwhelming. I just can't continue this way ~ something has to happen.
Its a wonder anybody can survive the lost of a love one weather it be soul mate, child or friends. The emotional bond we have with them has been ripped from our souls.
We that being said and all the encouragement I have received through this site I have looked online for Grief share groups in my area. Its hard to admit to myself but its been bouncing around in my head for awhile that I needed to seek outside help. Your postings here have confirmed my thoughts and feeling. I don't want to continue to spiral, drown, drop or any other description of words I can think of and feel like this. I need to move 1 step, 1 breath at a time as I've always signed. I want to "Live, Laugh, Love each day with Passion" as Billy so believed we should.
So, wish me luck ~ its a new step, 1 small baby step forward.
1 step, 1 breath at a time ~ 1 year