its mum s birthday today first without dad

hi ,
feel so helpless today , wished mum happy birthday knowing the main part of her life has gone. feel happy and upset at the same time iff that makes sense to you. think im coping but there is always some thing to drive home what you have lost , my dad when you least expect it , got to the stage that i cant go out and enjoy my self , cant cope with people coming up to me and giving there best wishes since dad has gone i only end up in bits, why cant people just give you space let you move on , intention of them are good but i just want to try and move on , which i cant dont think i ever will dont know iff i need help im suffering badly