its not getting easier

by nikki

well, its been over a year- in fact, its about a year and a half now, that she left. and its getting harder, not easier, that she's gone. honestly, i don't know how to deal with the feelings of loss, 'fog', and hurt. i'm not really 'depressed', just sad, all the time. my 'smile' is gone- the light is out of my eyes. i can't focus, i don't care, i just exist. i don't get excited, get get motivated, i'm just here, right now. i thought i was doing so good. healing, feeling better about myself- then the one year mark hit. and hit hard- and i thought that i'd be okay after that, and i'm not. i know i have to work through it, but i don't know how. anyone else out there know how to get through this rough patch?

Comments for its not getting easier

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Apr 24, 2011
hear you loud and clear
by: Britt

Nikki - I agree with you. I know you're looking for suggestions or help, but I don't have any. I just want to let you know that there are others feeling the same way. The hardest part for me is trying to explain this to someone who has no clue as to how I feel. It makes me very angry even at best friends who try to give me advice on how to handle my emotions. It's been a year for me. My mom was 43. I am 22. She was also my best friend. My hope is shattered and I'm getting by each day just because I wake up in the morning. At this point, I wouldn't care if I didn't wake up, but wish the future gets better.
Just know you're not alone. Wish I knew more people like you who I could connect with.

Jan 17, 2011
I understand, feel and share your pain
by: Jan

I completely understand. The reason I just went online looking for advice was because I just had one of those really sad mom moments. No magic potion my friend. Lost my husband 5 years ago, although I am much better and handle my sadness better, it takes time. Lost my mom this past June and all the sadness is back. Wish I could give you a magical solution, but there just isn't one. Never thought I would be widowed at 40, never thought my mom would pass this quickly. My heart is with you.

Jan 05, 2011
the long lonely walk of grief


All you can do is roll with the rough days. On those days I do what is necessary. Try to throw myself into mundane chores and watch some DVD that is comforting, often there is comforting food like brownies or home made soup but I would not recommend food for comfort. It becomes a bad habit.

There will be rough days because there are things around us to remind us of what we lost. And the fact that that person should be there to enjoy those things or help us through those times.
My best to you on your grief journey...

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