"It's Time"

by Kelsey
(Michigan)

One week ago, today, my best friend's sister (and my friend), Holly, committed suicide. She was 18...Just graduated high school (like me). A bright, beautiful girl. However, she had her own share of problems...Most of which she was very good at hiding. I was one of few people who knew of her problems, since my best friend kept me updated on her. She was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, her father didn't recognize this as an actual issue. Even after her first suicide attempt last fall (overdosing on Tylenol PM & laxatives), he felt like it was something she would just get over by herself. She never sought professional help.

Last week, she took a trip to Minnesota, alone, to visit family. On her way home, she called Lydia (her sister/my best friend). She was babbling, and profusely apologizing for everything she's done. At that point, Lydia said she heard her running...And screaming. That's when the call dropped. An hour later, authorities arrived at their home to inform them that their precious, lovely Holly had thrown herself in front of a semi truck. She was killed instantly.

In her note, it was clear that it had been fairly well planned out. She had left her mom's number, said that she did not want the driver to get in any trouble. She went on to say that this had been her wish for so long, that she was too tired to continue on. She also hoped that Jesus would let her in even though her faith hadn't been the strongest (they come from a rather religious background). Her last words on her note were "It's time". Her father, who now firmly believes in depression--and fighting it, wrote her final words on her casket.

We have all been extremely devastated...Holly was one in a million. It breaks my heart to think that she didn't see what we saw every time we looked at her. She was so loved, but so sick. She did too good a job of hiding how ill she really was. I'm not even sure where to go from here. I'm numb. I can't think, I can't feel...I just miss her so much...

It's hard to see the bigger picture when something like this happens. I can only hope that by sharing her story, I can encourage others to raise awareness about depression, inspire others to get help, and help myself heal ~RIP HMB~

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