I've lost my first love

by Alegria
(San Francisco)

I just broke up with my ex boyfriend of ten years because he got someone pregnant! It started a year and half ago that I felt that he was a changed man. He would get irritated with small things and before Christmas of 2010 he told me that he needed some space. I was hurt because I felt like a stuff toy that will just dispose once done playing. So we ended staying together and 2010 we actually moved in to his parents renting apartment. Things got a little better then he will change again. I was so confused. As a woman my gut tells me that he's seeing someone else and he finally told me one day that he thought I was the one but he thought wrong! Ouch! It's feels like a bad dream!!! I mean this man proposed to me and tell me that he will love forever and wanted 5 children! So story short, we were still living together when the beginning of this year he said that he got someone pregnant! The worse thing is I even know the person back in the days!!! The pain was so unbearable that I just wanted to die so I don't have to feel the pain. It was so hard and I was so hurt and still hurt until now. I'm 31 tomorrow and I wonder if I'm going to find the good one that will love me for who I am. I tried everyday to fight to live. I just want to be happy again.