Jaime Rae

I grew up with my wife and I was crazy about her ever since I met her. We parted way for a few years only to reunite and fall in love. She had the best personality and she had a heart of gold. We were married October 26 2007. I loved her so much. Jaime has been the only person I have ever had a true connection with. She had a problem taking pills. I tried to help her. I was uneducated on the subject. I found myself taking them. One morning I woke up and found her past away in our bathroom. She was perfectly heathy. It bothers me so much. I read about people loosing loved ones to cancer and I think about how her life was wasted. I am ashamed to even tell people how she past away. Some children don't even have a chance to live and I feel like she threw her life away. I feel angry, depressed, alone and totally helpless. I often wonder why she took them in the first place. Maybe something bad happened to her. I don't know. I know I will never know all the answers. I think about every thing that happened that morning. It won't go away. I wish I had been stronger but everyone tells me I couldn't have done anything. I feel guilty. I never thought I'd have to bury my 30 year old wife. It's not fair. I wish I was telling you I got to spend 30 years being married to her. Everyone my age is happy and married with a family. It is even awkward dating now. Don't know if I should keep it a secret. When I tell people I feel like they are judging. I want to be happy.

Comments for Jaime Rae

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Apr 10, 2014
by: Anonymous

I wish you happiness. Everyone deserves that.

Apr 08, 2014
you are not alone
by: Lindsay

My life never felt very real to me until I met the love of my life in 2004. In 2007 we got engaged but had not set a date. He died in march 2008 in a horrific car crash. 6 years later I am now 32 years old. I managed to keep a life going, appearances anyways. I am still single, still no kids. I still want to happy too, so much that it hurts.

Feb 26, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

Stop beating yourself up, what happened has happened, and you have absolutely don't need to feel any guilt, shame or anything else.
The fickle finger of fate pointed at you and there is no fighting it, we never know why or indeed when it will happen.
You have lost a girl you say you were crazy about, well you are in very good company, everybody on this web site has lost someone they loved deeply and we all share with you your anguish and pain, it is very hard to accept that the person you loved more than life itself is dead, but accept it we do, sooner or later as there is no alternative
I can only give the advice I hand out to anyone who feels so devastated, and remember I was standing in your shoes a year ago after losing a very precious wife,
Get out of the house don’t stay and flounder in your grief, do anything to keep away, go to the local library and read the newspapers, join a club, put on your track suit and go running, believe me the house will still be there when you return. empty and very lonely, and above all CRY, CRY and CRY, its nature’s way of helping you overcome your intense sadness.
Needless to say as the weeks and months pass your pain will ease, although it must be so difficult for you to believe me at present, yet here I am offering you solace and hope when quite frankly I didn’t want to live after my own loss.
With my deepest sympathy.

Feb 26, 2014
Jamime Rae
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your young wife Jamie to a sudden death. You say you didn't know why she took the pills thinking perhaps something bad happened to her in her past? This secret has now gone with her to the grave and you will never know. The mistake you made was to try out the drugs. WE are even advised to never use someone else's medication even if we have the same medical condition. We often learn life's lessons the hard way. We often mature through going through the bad stuff in life. It is no use beating yourself up about the "What if's" they will always be there. If you are struggling with grief you would benefit from seeing a grief counsellor who is trained and skilled in this area of support.
It wouldn't be wise to share the facts of losing Jamie with anyone else. It would serve no purpose and as you say it perhaps will just make you feel you are being judged. Share only what would be encouraging, and uplifting. If it isn't then LET IT GO.
Dating on the rebound is not wise. You would attract the wrong person and you would be vulnerable to making the wrong choices for the wrong reasons, in as much, by needing someone to fill the void in your life now Jamie has died. Take one day at a time. FOCUS on working at doing something you love to help you through your grief. It may even be joining a Gym. Exercise is good for relieving stress and depression. Healing from grief is a slow process. Don't rush it. Don't focus on all your friends your age being married and having a family, otherwise it will make you feel left out. You are still young and in time you may be able to have this joy for yourself also. My son is 43yrs. and late to mature. and struggled with making some wrong decisions he regrets now. By going through many trials in his life he is becoming more mature and often this is the only way. I as a mother have made many mistakes in trying to rescue him from bad choices and decisions. I ended up being the one hurt and learned that often we can't even protect our own children from facing their own experiences in life. This is how they learn. A lot of the mistakes one makes in life is down to also a lack of maturity. As you grow older you will become wiser. You will in time meet someone else and find happiness. I know it is not what you want. You will eventually have to let go of the past which will be part of your grief. Counselling may help you in decision making and also releasing yourself from guilt. With the right counsellor. The right approach. and sticking with the programme you will move forward and be in a healthier place, even though it may not feel like it now. I DID IT. And I can tell you from experience as hard as it is we do move forward and become happier. We will still grieve, but it will soon get less over time as new memories take place. Write a new contract for your life, and then go and make it happen.

Feb 25, 2014
Your soul mate
by: Anonymous

Yes it's awful that you lost your girl to pills. The pills were probably very addictive, and many people do get hooked. My son did, and he was 31 when he died. I also feel like I should have known more, and knew how to help him. I know that if I knew what I know now I could helped him more. But still it could have happened. As my daughter says, it was an accident. Just like any accident. Shouldn't have happened. Prescription or not, drugs can kill. I know what you mean about not wanting to tell anyone. I hate that he died that way. I feel like I should have saved him. Believe me there's hardley a minute I don't miss him. I want him back so bad. I'm sorry for your lost. Its just a bad and senseless way to die. My heart goes out to you.

Feb 25, 2014
Jaime Rae.
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry for your loss and heartbreak. Please know you could not have done anything to stop her from taking pills except putting her in a rehab facility. But she would have had to want to go. You didn't know what you didn't know.

Dating is the last thing you sould be thinking about at this time. Give yoursef time to grieve man and deal with the loss before you try to date again. If you do it too soon you will only end up hurting yourself over again. People who rush to find love replacement too soon after a loved one passes make the biggest mistake . You 'll want to make sure you have learned who you are and what you truly need as a person. You also want to make sure you get to know a person long before you get too involved and choose the right person for the right reasons.

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