I grew up with my wife and I was crazy about her ever since I met her. We parted way for a few years only to reunite and fall in love. She had the best personality and she had a heart of gold. We were married October 26 2007. I loved her so much. Jaime has been the only person I have ever had a true connection with. She had a problem taking pills. I tried to help her. I was uneducated on the subject. I found myself taking them. One morning I woke up and found her past away in our bathroom. She was perfectly heathy. It bothers me so much. I read about people loosing loved ones to cancer and I think about how her life was wasted. I am ashamed to even tell people how she past away. Some children don't even have a chance to live and I feel like she threw her life away. I feel angry, depressed, alone and totally helpless. I often wonder why she took them in the first place. Maybe something bad happened to her. I don't know. I know I will never know all the answers. I think about every thing that happened that morning. It won't go away. I wish I had been stronger but everyone tells me I couldn't have done anything. I feel guilty. I never thought I'd have to bury my 30 year old wife. It's not fair. I wish I was telling you I got to spend 30 years being married to her. Everyone my age is happy and married with a family. It is even awkward dating now. Don't know if I should keep it a secret. When I tell people I feel like they are judging. I want to be happy.