Jamie Michael,My Love, My Life- ALL TAKEN FROM ME!

by Jess Peters



Jamie &  Jess

I can't express to anybody exactly what I feel. Cause I don't really know. I don't understand why Jamie had to leave me. Why this hadto happen to him. How god could take him so early. I wonder if this is my fault. If I wouldn't of had to go home. If I would had stayed with him. I miss him so much. We had are life's planned. He just asked me to marry him, we were in the process of buying a house. Planning a family together. His daughter,my two and one on the way. Not knowing at the time that this would happen...I hate crying,I hate been angry, I hate being alone, I don't want to live. I feel like I died when he did. He was my life,my soulmate,my best friend. I can't see anybody meeting up to the standards I have in Jamie. I can't ever love another. He has my heart and soul. My body might b here but not my soul or my mind.its been a month since he has passed and itstill hasn't sunk in that my baby is not here. Shortly after he passed I lost are unborn baby. The only piece I had left of him. Now all I have is memories and a box of his stuff. Its like a just threw him a box. I HATE THIS! How do i move on when its without him.Why? Why, HoW. What did i do for god to take him from me. My true love?;The man that showed me what love was! What am I support to do?

Comments for Jamie Michael,My Love, My Life- ALL TAKEN FROM ME!

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Jun 15, 2012
re ted
by: jess

I watched a video today and it explained how the passing contact us. If they are good as they said they will flicker lights, mess with radio,phones electrical sources. But the easiest for them his in r dreams. He said when you lay down ask for them to come to you in your dream. It might not happen the first time a week a month but they will eventually. That's about right on the nose with you. And the more u relax or even meditate the easier it is. In your comments I can really tell how much your partner meant to you. I can tell how much love you have for him. A 4 letter word that means so much and strong. Ted may I ask was his death sudden. An unexpected like Jamie s? I would like also to ask you if you have a Facebook. If so I would be honored to have you as a friend. Mine is under JamienJess. As well as where you are from. I have enjoyed talking with you and it has helped so much. I would enjoy talking to help one another threw this if you would too. Hope to hear from ya Jess

Jun 13, 2012
some comfort
by: Ted

Yes - a lost partner does sometimes come to you in your dreams (or subconsciously). My partner came to me when I was half asleep laying on the chesterfield because I couldn't bear to go to bed and be alone. I so miss(ed) him just laying beside me in bed, spooning and taking comfort in telling each other we love each other before drifting off to sleep...it brings tears to my eyes and chokes me up each time I think of the fact I'll never have that again (in this earthly lifetime). However, in the dream, he came to me by standing behind me - I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up, I rose up and looked around and he was standing there as he had done 100 times before - nothing was said - and then he was gone. I truly believe he just was there to assure me that "he was there with me". somehow that was so comforting - just knowing that he in fact was there, and alwasy will be, supporting and gently nudging me as I move on - as I must. Your partner would want you to move on, no matter what obsacles are in the way - it's life as we know it - you have work to do here yet, and he is there to guide and support you. Yeah, some family turn on you or maybe don't support you (it happens to all of us), but you have your partner's support and the support of your kids (you need them as much as they need you). Be strong my friend...it is damn hard though, eh... One thing that has helped me is once or twice a day - especially the last thing before I go to bed to try to get some sleep - I will close my eyes and imagine my partner standing in front of me and I tell him what is on my mind at that moment and finish by saying "OK, it's time for you to go now until we chat again" and then ensuring he turns and walks away, knowing I can call him back at anytime of the day or night. Try it...it works...and is somewhat comforting.

Take care

Jun 11, 2012
re: it hurts,Ted
by: Jess

That's what I have been doing, one day at a time. Days come and we have to keep going, but its not something I want to do. I have no choice though. Earlier I played down and took a nap. And for the very first time I had a dream, since he pasted. He was in it. He told me he didn't have long. He held me. Then his dad was in it with us and his dad was as in him questions. Like where he wanted his contents from his home to go. He told him to me.. When Jamie pasted the evil came out in everybody. They all turned against me. I lost all my belongings etc that was in Jamie home. I don't care about that, I'm just wondering why I had that dream. They say they come to you in your dreams. That's one of there ways. Idk but ever since I have been a basket case. I miss him so much..I only wish I could turn back time. I know he knows that I love him I just wish I could tell him again. How can I have decent days and then just have days that I don't want to keep going,I know there's a reason I'm here and he's not but why did god let him be in my life and for me to fall in love so much for him to take him from me...

Jun 11, 2012
it does hurt
by: Ted

Yes - it does hurt, but that means that you loved your partner deeply and unconditonally. I have come to realize that death is not a singular event of the person dying - it is also the death of all the plans, dreams, hopes and expectations for the future together that die - that is especially tough. I too sleep little at night as that is when the discomforting thoughts and "what ifs" creep in. We don't know what the future will bring - but we have to trust that we will eventually hold and be with the one we lost - that's what keeps me going. In the meantime time it is one breath at a time, one step at a time and one day at a time... Reach out to those that love you - they will help carry you through the rough spots that will crop up unexpectedly due to a thought, a special place or whatever might trigger the memories...

Jun 10, 2012
re: it hurts,Ted
by: Jess

I'm sorry about your loss as well, Thank you. I have been doing things to stay busy, spending time with friends, and my children. But its so hard. Everywhere I go or turn there s something that reminds me of him or is his. Days I do ok. Cause there's usually someone around. But my nights are so hard. That was Jamie and I s time. Especially when I am use to him being beside me. I can honestly say I have probably slept maybe 2 to 3 hrs a night if I do that. I don't understand why he would take are partner,soul mate,the love of are life's. I wonder everyday what I ve done to deserves this. You probably do as well. Or did. Your words help. Your friend could be right I don't know. But I will remember those words that you have pass on to me. Your words I will carry on with me threw this journey we take till we meet them. Thank you again Ted

Jun 08, 2012
it hurts...
by: Ted

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I lost my best friend, my love, my heart and soulmate almost 2 months ago...every day hurts and I often wonder why, how I should/can carry on. We were planning on formalizaing our life together on 12/12/12..now that is all gone...forever... However, a very good friend has become my life coach and has said to me that I was left behind because my work here is not done...there is a plan...I struggle every day but have come to believe that that probaly is so...I just have to figure out what it is...

Take heart that there is a plan...busy yourself with the kids (they need you now more than ever) and it will come to you. In the meantime, reach out to someone for some comfort - lonliness, anger, fear, guilt, etc. all need to be shared openly with a trusting friend- it is part of the eventual healing

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