I lost my husband of 25 years to lung cancer on august 18,2013. Very sad, 10 children altogether. My second marriage. Most of it was happy- until he got laid off at 73 and became very depressed. Then last september the diagnosis of end stage lung cancer. He became more depressed and withdrawn. Christmas was awful- he bought me nothing. I think he was so consumed with his illness and it being his last Christmas. He would not join in any family activities. I felt like a widow then already. But it really hits home when they are actually gone, and you realize there will be no more chances together and no more hope of a gift beneath the tree or something in your stocking. I cannot even imagine how unbearable it is for someone to know they are going to die, but I will have to live with the memory of that horrible last Christmas and New Years which should have been special because we should have been together with our families. This year I am working- thank God- and having a very minimalistic Christmas. I am glad he is no longer suffering and I will focus on all of the years that we had great times together and great family Christmases.