Jealous Gelly or Gelly Bean

by Rachel
(White House, TN)

Always Smiling

Always Smiling

My name is Rachel. My beloved Boxer, Gelly passed on 5/20/10.

I bred Gelly’s mom Hailey, so my first memories of him are feeling her belly and the puppies wrestling around. He was the last of six. He was similar to another puppy so somehow no one ever picked him up to look at him. I would tuck him into bed every night telling him how special he was and he would find a wonderful home. I tried not to get attached as I knew I couldn’t keep a puppy. We had two people leave deposits and never come get him.

One day we were at the pool and I jumped in after something which must have startled him… He jumped right in after me. This normally would be no big deal, but he didn’t like swimming. He tried to save my life. He was never going anywhere after that.

Gel and I bonded so tightly. Family vacations, revolved around where Gelly could go. In seven years we spent one night apart. He spooned with me every day. While we watched TV, slept, read a book. Whatever it was, he was right there. We ran agility together and obedience together and eventually got his Therapy dog title. He tried so hard to please and was such a quick learner. To pump him up before a run, we would box…I had a boxing glove. Everyone would get a laugh out of the Boxer boxing.

If he wasn’t playing with me, he was standing by my side. He was a momma’s boy through and through. He wouldn’t even go for walks without me coming. He was always in the same room. He never even took snacks from other people.

This has been so hard to lose him. I close my eyes and see him. I reach for him and he is not there. I still have his mom and step brother. I miss hearing him bark at the door with the others. He would press his nose against the glass so hard he could hardly breath, looking from side to side without it moving. When he would see me come home he was so happy… wiggling, laughing….

Every time it was like it was the best day for him. He would run and look for gifts to bring, usually the big red ball. When I was down, he knew, and he would lay quietly with me, his head resting on my hip. We went through several moves, gaining and losing friends, job loss, divorce… Now tonight is the first night without him. He never expected anything in return.

I am very angry with God. Why would he take such a wonderful dog at such a young age? I hate thinking God doesn’t exist, because then Gelly would not be playing in Heaven, by why was he taken?? I hope we did everything we could; he had cancer in his stomach opening. The vet said even if he was a person, there would be very little that could be done.

I brought him to the vet for an ultrasound and didn’t come home with him. I left him there Wednesday morning for fluids. Went to work thinking my boyfriend would pick him up in afternoon. They wanted to keep him over night… keep him hydrated. I stopped by Thursday morning before his ultrasound. I should have taken the day off. I really did think he was coming home. I always told him I would protect him and I couldn’t. I left him there all alone.

We decided not to wake him from surgery. Thought it would be easier for him… I petted him and told him how great he was. I know he heard me. He was dreaming, little feet kicked and his breathing so rhythmic. Then not. I don’t know what to do without him. I hate God, I hate my bosses for not letting me off sooner, I hate the vet for saying he needs rest, come later.

So many more memories to share… Wish I could write a book about him. He was perfect.
I love you Gelly Bean!

Comments for Jealous Gelly or Gelly Bean

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 30, 2010
Fi and Anonymous
by: Anonymous

Fi and Anonymous-
Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved ones as well. It sounds like they had a great home with you.
I think we all will keep questioning ourselves over if we made the right decision. I know I do... But they hurt.. now they don't.

I guess when something like our pets touch our heart like they do, we will never stop thinking of them. I miss Gel every day, but am very thankful I had him in my life. We really had great times. I feel like the luckiest girl to have had a dog like that. I don't understand why he would be taken away so soon, but I guess that is not for me to decide.

Jackie and your little girl are looking down on you with all the love they did when they sat at your side...and they are now playing with my Gelly bean.. I know Gelly comes to see me, as I dream of petting him often.

Jun 22, 2010
p.s.
by: Fi

It's Fi again
I read your story over, your last comment "I wish I could write a book", well why don't you.

Wow what a wonderful idea, there is nothing to stop you. All those memories in hard copy, all that love you shared written down. They say words can come to life! I may just do the same thing. Thank you.

Jun 22, 2010
So sad for you
by: Fi

Tears rolled down my cheek when I read your story.

I too have just lost my baby girl, a fawn and white boxer, though it was last year August. I still feel the pain of her leaving.

Please don't be too angry with God, He has your Gelly playing and laughing and still looking after you, but from above.

When my Jackie passed away it was my decision for her to leave this world, to this day I still wonder if she would still be around if it wasn't for me. But in saying that, my little girl was in soooo much pain.

I can not say that it will get easier with your great loss, but I can say the pain changes, softens to a gentle heartfelt ache of beautiful memories.

Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself.
Take care, I am so sad for you.

May 23, 2010
gelly bean
by: Anonymous

It is always so sad when our best little friends go. i had my little girl for 17 years she died 9 months ago, i have thought about her every day since, like you and gelly bean we went everywhere together, holidays, walks in the park, walks up in the moors, just everywhere really. It's such a shame you lost gelly bean the way you did and i guess i would have the same feelings that you have right now, but try to remember the good times you had together and you will meet gelly bean again one day, that's for sure.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Loss of pet.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!