by chloe-jean Cooper
(Spalding, Lincolnshire, England)
nanny, i miss you so much but i know that you are at peace and to know that you are not suffering like you did for all those years is what keeps me going. i know that if you was here seeing the family the way that we are you would be very upset and worried about us but i just want you to know that they are okay and i will be once i get back on my feet. i feel like being fifteen without you is really hard and the fact that you have missed james's first birthday and christmas rather upsetting and wish you were here to see them growing up. i feel so ashamed with myself that i didnt come to see you for the last few months that you were still with us but i just want you to know that i thought i was doing the right thing. i didnt want to see you as ill as you were and seeing you suffering as much as you was i found it hard to cope with and t tired you out and i didnt think that you wanted me to see you like that. i want you to know that i love you and you will always be in my heart.
i remember coming to yours after school and eating hobknobs and drinkin orange juice whilst me you and Grandad Tony watched countdown. i remember you coming for a roast dinner every sunday and me you and dad watched the grand prix together.
i want you to know that although i dont talk to dad or mum or any of the family i still love them very much and miss them too. i regret a lot of things that i have done in my life and wish i had done things differently but i an going to grow up into the mature sensible young lady that you always wanted me to be and do you proud for the rest of my life.
R.I.P Nanny Jean ...