Jeannie

by Jeannie
(Louisiana )

Jeannie and Mike

Jeannie and Mike

I lost my companion, it will be 4 months on the 19th of April. I am so lost, I feel like I will totally lose my mind, I cry constantly and so alone. I do have children that are wonderful from my first marriage but they are married and in college and have lives of their own and I can't expect them to stay with me and see me crying this much.

I feel angry that God took Mike too soon, but at least we did have 5 good years together. I wish I knew what to do with myself, I do work for my Dad but I have a hard time focusing on anything at this point. My son asked me to babysit my grandson who I love with all my heart and I had to refuse, I know I can't do this right now, I am trying to take care of me. This broke my heart and I just hope they can understand.

I am in therapy and on meds. I was already battling chronic depression before Mike passed and he was my lifeline. Now I have NO one, I am alone and this is harder than anything I have ever had to do in my whole life. I am 54 and never thought I would be going thru this so soon. I wish I could bring him back. Thanks for listening.
Jeannie

Comments for Jeannie

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May 03, 2010
TIME PASSING AND PRAYER
by: Anonymous

I have found that the only thing that helps me is alot of praying, crying and to let time pass. I sleep with Mike's watch on my headboard. Some nights when I am really missing him I talk to it as if he were here. This is just so hard and I do know I have to move on. It will take time and at whatever pace I can do it. Love and prayers to everyone.

Apr 26, 2010
THANK YOU ALL..
by: Jeannie

It's almost 5 months, Mike is gone I am so lonely it is unbelievable. I miss him so much and I find myself with not much to do. I do work from my home but I think that might make it worse. My depression is still high and the tears still come all the time. I feel numb a lot, I did have clinical depression before Mike died and he was a big help for me. He was my lifeline, now I have no one.

Some days its hard to even get out of bed, I have to push so hard. If it would not be for my faith I don't know if I would be here today. I want to thank all of you who posted, I so feel your pain as well and will keep praying for us all.
Jeannie

Apr 19, 2010
lost my husband five months ago
by: Anonymous

Jeannie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am 56, my husband passed in Nov 09. They say it gets better; it seems I break down at the oddest times and the pain feels worse today than it ever did. This was my second marriage, I only had my Jimmy 10 years, but we had always said we wished we had met each other long ago. I feel cheated and angry, but most of all I miss his smell.

Wanna laugh? I put his cologne on the cat so I could hug a warm body and smell my husband....I hug his clothes, I even pulled all the little stubbles out of his razor to have a part of him . I will pray for us, Jeannie.
CC

Apr 15, 2010
Understand
by: Anonymous

I totally understand what you are feeling. I just know that my Mike would want me to continue with life. He hasn't been gone for 3 months yet. I miss him badly and I was divorced for 6 years. I try to focus on the good times and the last couple of months together, even though he was sick.

God will make a way for us. We will get through this one day.

Praying for you.

Apr 09, 2010
Hello
by: Sandy

Jeanine,

I lost my husband just over a year ago. I was 44 years old and he was 60. I lost my world when I lost him. I can feel your pain, literally. Please know that there are so many of us out here going through the same thing. I have 2 grandchildren I simply could not deal with for several months. I was like a zombie. I am better but I do cry a lot and never know when it will hit me. I miss him more than anything and honestly, sometimes I just want to be with him, no matter what that means. I cannot wait to see him again. Take care and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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