Jessie we will love you forever more, our darling baby girl.
We lost Jessie on June 7th last year, I delivered her 4 days before her due date. It has been the most difficult emotional, saddest time.
My husband and 6 year old daughter feel it so very much too. It's too painful to recall the moment we were told of our loss, as I'd suffered a miscarriage the year before and was in the exact same room of hearing the words i'm sorry there isn't a heartbeat....
I find our life in turmoil 9 months on, I can't seem to control the mess we seem to be in. I'm sad, angry, feel sorry for us and yet can't seem to reach out to my family for anything. We generally function ok but lately it seems like a spiral of everything unravelling and I can't fix it.
We both are hurting and want to move on, which we are trying to do but sadly the news of another baby isn't happening (which we are seeking help with) it just adds to the mountain we are climbing, it won't magic everything right but it's what we want for all of us, my daughter can't wait to hear the words, mummy's pregnant, us too, the yearning is immense, it's sad because it's just so difficult to just 'get on' with.
I believe things will work out for us as a family but I'm so sad we have to go through this heartache, I want to be stronger but feel I'm being tested and lately feel I'm failing. I believe in fate but do not understand this journey we have been set, of course it's just so sad for anyone to have to endure.
I've ordered this book back to life, I will read it and seek strength in carrying on our journey. I just want to be the mummy and wife I used to be. God bless Jessie our beautiful baby xxx