Joanne - Canada

by Joanne

Is it normal to have panic attacks throughout the day? I have crying spells every day since my husband died at the end of December but am finding that all of a sudden my stomach and chest tense up in sheer terror that he isn't coming home. This is such a nightmare and I can't accept or believe he isn't coming home. Why is it that people all of a sudden classify us as 'single', I'm married to Tim and that hasn't changed and never will. This is something that happens to other people, not me. I sit here day after day by myself and don't know whether I can stand it for the rest of my life.
People say how lucky I was that I had him for 27 years, I know that, but I want him for the next 30. I feel like saying to them that is easy for them to say when they still have their husband.

Comments for Joanne - Canada

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Feb 18, 2012
by: Karen

My situation almost mirrors yours. Lost the love of my life 20/12/2011, together for 30 years. She was diagnosed with lung cancer exactly 1 month before, the last four weeks were unbearable i keep going over it all i think i am going mad sometimes i really do know how you feel we must try to be strong and kind to ourselves

Feb 12, 2012
I too am in despair
by: jULIE (uk)

Like you i lost my lovely funny hardworking fantastactic dad and friend to so many husband of 31 years on January 9th 2012 to cancer after many fruitless trips to the GP when he was finally taken seriously that he was not well i am afraid it was too late for him. He fought it from day one and did everything thsat he could to pretend he was not ill and just carry on as usual.From diagnosis to the unthinkable was only 14 weeks but in that time he acheived many things one of which was taking us away in the motor home for christmas which was bittersweet as we both knew but never said it would be our last.I cry every night and would give anything,anything to have him back with me i know he would not want me to be like this but i just get through one day at a time. I hope you get through too Julie x x

Feb 12, 2012
I understand
by: Janet

Yes, Joanne, it is normal to have panic attacks. I am so sorry for your loss.
That is part of the grieving process. There are groups out there that can help you travel this journey we all call grief.
I lost my Jim who was my best friend, companion, soul mate and partner of 25 plus years, 3 months, 10 days, 9 hours and 26 minutes ago in Belize Central America. I still cry for no reason at all. I do not have the panic attacks but there are times I do feel quilty. I know that there is not anything I could have done for him because he died of bronco aspiration. They told me his broncoulair tubes collapsed and could not get oxygen to his lungs. It is a painful journey that we all must travel.
You have come to a wonderful site and everyone here has been there and are where you are now. We will get through together this with the grace of God. I still cry everytime I read something someone has posted and when I comment on some of the post. I do not cry as often now as I did at first. I used to cry every day and every night. I cannot bring him back and I know that he is at peace and is not hurting anymore from the rheumatoid arthritis which had spread to his spinal column. He is at peace and in good hands with the Lord up above and that gives me peace and comfort. Your pain is still new and very raw. Remember to take one breath, one step and one day at a time.
May God Bless you and hold you in the palm of his hands. Remember when we think we are alone that He carries us during our most difficult time.

Feb 11, 2012
I understand
by: Pam

I am terrible panic attacks too. My stomach and heart tense up and I feel as if I am going crazy. I know exactly how you feel.

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