JTWinsor

by Tracy Winsor
(Gunnedah)

My Husband Was a truck driver. We had just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.(8th oct 2010.) On the 9th oct 2010 he was cleaning his trailer out from some grain that was left in there it had camicales (foxtoxons)about an hour later he became unwell. JW went to work for the rest of the week but no feeling his best.

On Friday night sat morning 3am he woke me asking me to help him out of bed i thought at the time he had a cramp. I went around to the left side of the bed to help him out he just wanted to sit on the bed. I went back to my side of the bed to get my dressing gown and he fell off the bed and hit his head on the bed side table i yeald and sware at him what are u doing i picked him up and put him back on the bed (weight 110 klo) he had blood coming from his left ear i grab a hanky.

JW wanted to go to the toilet so i helped him up he walked to the toilet an when he come out i help him to put his BJ on i asked him to lift his left leg and he was telling me that he was but he wasn't he kept lifting his right.

Just then i Know that my Husband had a STROKE i asked him to sit done on a chair that i got from the kitchen he wouldn't sit down (If i sit down i wont get up.) I rang for an ambulance only about 10 min later he wanted to go to the toilet again i sade no out in the car the ambulance are taking too long, he wanted to put his shoes on at the time it was raining i told him not to worry about shoes just get into the car for me darling.

We left the house to see the ambulance they keep following me to the hospital. We got JW from the car he was in there for about an hour then the Dr. wanted to send him to a bigger hospital (Tamworth). Over in tamworth He had a Catscan The dr come and told me that my husband has had a Big STROKE, how when he still knows me and he walked from our bedroom to our car i keep saying no your wrong.

JW was paralized down the left side he had a blood clot on the right sid e of his brain. They sent him to a stroke unit the next day he was having fits and his temp was 39.7 the drs want to do another Catscan and a lumberpuncher. On Tuesday he was sent to ICU to have the breathing machine put on him to have these test done. Lumberpuncher was fine the Catscan Showed He did have a really big Stroke.

The Dr asked if he worked around cattle or if he ate really expensive Cheeses wich Jw didn't. That The Camicals has caused him to get pneumonia -enlarged heart- witch as cause the brain stroke.

Friday at 11am they toke the breathing machine off him he was having a little trouble try to breath his airway where closing they helped him to breath about 15min later he was ok.

Friday afternoon the Dr (specialist) come to me and told me that my husband was going to die and he was not going to wake up '(only from all the test And medical report it wasnt going to be long, this weekend).

Saturday morning we moved JW to another ward that night he stopped breathing twice on me and came back. Sunday we talked to the dr it put him in Paladive care. 5am Monday morning i walked back in to his room he had his eyes opened an followed me around the bed i went to his right side he keeped pushing me in the chest i said darling do you want me to leave; he then nodded his head NO I then grabbed his as i was crying a.nd told him how much i love you i sade to him do you love me i sad that a silly Q to ask you i know that you do. Then he put his hand around me and he patted me on the back.

I then try to talk to him some more so see how he was feeling, if he had any pain. As the week went on JW keep pulling all the tubes from his self I asked him if he Knew who i was he said my name and that he loved u.

That he wanted to go home.On saturday JW was having more fits. He did not respond to me much more after that. Sunday was his Birthday 31/10/. On the 8th nov i asked for the dr to let me take him home back from the hospital, i only want the pain relief for him.

On thursday his granddaughter was yelling out to poppy sitting on this right side he reached out to touch her that was the first response for over a week, I was so happy with that i couldnt believe it. 12/11/2010 Friday At 12.42 JW passed away He in no more PAIN. I love him so much i miss him more then i can say.

PS: sorry that my spelling is not very good.

Comments for JTWinsor

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Feb 13, 2011
My husband is now in a nursing home
by: Mary

My husband is 20 years older than me and had a stroke 3 1/2 years ago. We did well together for the first 2 years even though he was cognitively impaired. Then be became ill with pneumonia that turned septic 1 year ago. They rehabilitated him in the hospital he was in and he went home. I became a full time caregiver with help from the Red Cross.This least year was the hardest I have ever experienced and this past January he went into a Nursing Home. He has to be taken out of bed to a wheelchair with a lift. Emotionally I am not doing very well.He is losing weight and my grief is so intense that I wake up stiff and sore and am unable to function at times. Friends want me to join all the things I used to do before I became a caregiver. I am having great difficulty with that. I visit my husband every day from 2:30 until supper time and find it hard enough to do the things that must be done at home.I don't seem to have much left over. Is this normal? I try to get walks in , and to eat healthy and to get enough rest.But as for living the life I used to do, I can't manage it.

Dec 06, 2010
JT Winsor
by: Jules

Tracey - I hope you are doing ok - I think of you some days, and hope you are coping, please keep in touch with us on this site - we will help you and support you where we can. We have all been through it, still going through it - I miss my John every day, and he has been gone 12 months.

You will have good days and bad days over the coming months, take small steps, breathe one breath at a time.
Take care
jules

Nov 26, 2010
JT Winsor
by: Jules

Tracey - I don't live very far from you - just over the border in Qld - Boonah - I too have been through the journey you have just embarked on, my husband John, had a stroke in November 2009, and died within three days - there are lots of things that happened in the three days - but the one thing that has never left me is the look in his eyes on the night before he died, as I was leaving to go home to our daughters house. She lives about 40k from the hospital - and I said at about 5pm - I'd better go, get home before dark, I leaned in to kiss him goodbye (he was paralysed down the right side, and had no speech) - he kept pointing at the window (telling me to go), as I leaned in with tears in my eyes, a look of absolute love came into his eyes, I cried, but I did leave.

Later on, after John passed on, I realised that he was saying goodbye to me, and sending me home was the way he had of still looking after me, which he had done for over 40 years.

Tracey - this site is a lifesaver - like a counsellor 24 hours seven days - it is here when there is no one else, you can say things here, that are too hard to actually speak to someone.

We have all been where you are at - and we will love and help you through this - look at some of the writings - mine are called "Baby Steps", "Shell on the outside" and more recently "Almost one year".

I would love to drive down and give you a big hug, to give you comfort just so you know that there are people looking out for you.

jules

Nov 23, 2010
JTWinsor
by: Jen

Tracey,
Nothing can ever prepare you for this awfulness we find ourselves in, a road that we didn't want to travel.

My husband died aged 41 coming two years soon. I look back on last year and i feel i traveled alot of it with a mask of coping on most of the time and i suppose i got thro but it has been slipping recently and at times i thought i was going mad.

I saw Richard everywhere i looked so clearly and i have just cried and cried. I think the hardest part is doing this grief on your own in your own surroundings and having no one to share your grief with, that is without exception the wonderful people who really listen and care for you on this site.

You have a long journey of many ups and downs to go and probably more downs but life has a way of carrying us along and we learn to survive.

I hate a large part of this but who could blame us. It truly is an unwanted and uninvited place to be.

Keep in touch we will help you in whatever way we can.

Jen

Nov 22, 2010
He Loved you, for you...
by:

All Of us travel the hard road of grief here and missing the ones that we loved is a hurt like no other. It does not matter whether you knew it was coming or it was sudden. Hurt Is Hurt. All My years of living good times and bad did not prepare me for what I now go through. My Hubby also had a stroke and it was difficult to see him that way. But I cared for him and Loved him as I had for 15 years. We made it to 17 years and I am grateful that he was in my life. He could have Loved anyone but he chose me. As the man you loved loved you. It is too soon, Much too soon for you to see that. I Hope that someday you will know how blessed you were having such a special Love as you did.
HH

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