June will never be the same
(Salt Lake City, Utah)
My dad died June 30, 2010 at the age of 78. He hadn't been feeling well for quite a while and didn't have the will to live. I thought I was ready for him to die, but I know now I wasn't ready at all.
The month of June will never feel the same. So many things are reminders of what the day was like when he died.
Father's Day is difficult because people are buying cards and presents and I feel a big loss. I bought a card for my husband, but cried because I wasn't buying one for my dad.
Two weeks ago I was running and was finally able to listen to a song that was played at his memorial service. The song just happened to play while I was running up a hill.I didn't cry or even slow my pace; for some reason it was so calming. I'm running the Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay this weekend and plan on listening to that song on my most difficult run.
I'm 51 years old and never dreamed I would experience such a profound sense of loss with my dad's death.