June will never be the same

by Kris
(Salt Lake City, Utah)

My dad died June 30, 2010 at the age of 78. He hadn't been feeling well for quite a while and didn't have the will to live. I thought I was ready for him to die, but I know now I wasn't ready at all.

The month of June will never feel the same. So many things are reminders of what the day was like when he died.

Father's Day is difficult because people are buying cards and presents and I feel a big loss. I bought a card for my husband, but cried because I wasn't buying one for my dad.

Two weeks ago I was running and was finally able to listen to a song that was played at his memorial service. The song just happened to play while I was running up a hill.I didn't cry or even slow my pace; for some reason it was so calming. I'm running the Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay this weekend and plan on listening to that song on my most difficult run.

I'm 51 years old and never dreamed I would experience such a profound sense of loss with my dad's death.

Comments for June will never be the same

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Jun 30, 2012
June wil never be the same
by: Shellymtisi

For sure the month you loose your beloved one will never be the same,i no its hard to forget about it, im realy sorry.i have also lost my dad when i was 14 and now im 18 i just can't bare the pain

Jun 25, 2012
Pain
by: Anonymous

Losing a father at any age is painful!! However, you are so blessed that you got to see your father at 78, my father passed away when he was 49 (I was 20) =[ there's so much I wish I could have done with my father. It's hard esp. on Father's Day, but he's there with you in spirit... so you should buy him a card and place it on his grave, I truly believe he'll see it.

Jun 16, 2012
june is bad for me also
by: Anonymous

My dad had massive stroke and massive heart attack at the same time on june 9 at my parents home, my dad went to get up and fell to the floor my mom called me from the ER at work her words were im at the hospital dads had a stroke they did not know about the heart attack yet.he passed on july 30 my sons 14th birthday he spent it watching his grandfather pass. you know i have buried a son and a daughter 3yrs of age and 4 yrs of age due to illness i have found 2 separate brother in laws deceased all years apart. But i cant get over my dad he was my rock. my brother would tell you me and my dad were closer than 2 coats of paint. I believe you were hearing that song because he wanted you too run to that song because he is going to be with you.goodluck on your day...........................

Jun 15, 2012
Nothing will ever Be the Same
by: Judith in California

Kris, So sorry for the loss of your Father.
Yes, it's difficult when there is no more cards , or Special days to celebrate with those we lost. WE don't get to give or receive cards from them for any occassion any more. It's most difficult to see everyone out shopping for cards for special days .

I would tell others who haven't lost someone special that once they are gone there is no more of anything to give or receive so make everyday special and show your love.

God be with you at this most difficult time.

Jun 15, 2012
The month of June will never be the same again
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Kris
I am sorry for your loss of your Dad in June. No matter how old you are you will still grieve for the loss of your father or loved one. The grief does not change with age and one could still have a difficulty here with pain.
My mother was 77yrs of age when she died in 2003 and being she was of an age when I expected life expectancy to change I was more accepting of this but again it depends on the individual and the relationship they had with that parent or person. My husband Steve died 6 weeks ago of lung cancer caused by working with asbestos and I buried him 3 weeks ago today. Steve was only 65yrs. and he would have been 66yrs last Sunday. He missed his birthday by 16 days. I am finding it hard to cope as in my eyes he was still young. If he was able to enjoy some retirement I would have felt better. I am so angry that he was 11 months into retirement and taken out of work 2 yrs with cancer so he never had any quality of life or rest as he was very ill throughout the whole 3yrs. Steve worked 40 years towards his pension and then the government take half of it back and I have to now struggle I will have to think of renting out a room or the garage in order to pay the gas and electric bills as this would be difficult now. The pension is not enough to live on. On top of grief I have to juggle the finances. Kris I can understand how you feel. This is the pattern of grief and so we all feel the same way you are not alone. One does not know what to expect untill you experience grief. It is all the other things that come at the same time which makes life more unbearable. I will never get used to not having Steve around. My heart is breaking today and I am crying and crying a lot. This loss is forever. It is hard to go on in life each day.
I hope that you are able to find comfort sharing your grief with everyone on this website and that life will get easier for your and you will feel less alone and isolated knowing we know how you feel. Best wishes.

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