Just a Moment in Time and My Life Is Forever Changed
by Linda Lauer
(Land O Lakes, FL)
It's been just over one year since my husband, John was killed on his way home from work. John was working the closing shift at his employment and was riding his motorcycle home from work as he usually did. Just a few blocks from home a careless driver not paying attention to the road simply crossed over the center line and ran him over. He died instantly that night on June 9, 2011. I was home waiting for him to get home. He was usually home around 11:30PM or a little earlier or a little later. When he didn't come home by midnight, I really started to worry as he always came straight home. I called his cell and the employer and got no answer. By 12:30 I knew that something was wrong and left with my 17 year old grandson who lived with us to drive to his work to see if he were broke down along the way. I only got a few blocks and as I came around the bend all I saw was the flashing red and blue lights of the sheriff's cars. The road was blocked and I got out and crossed under the tape across the road. I had a really bad feeling. I think I already knew. They stopped me and told me they were conducting an accident investigation and asked me to wait there but would not allow me any closer. After about an hour and a half they came and told me that my husband had died in the accident. In just one tragic moment my 57 year old husband had died and I never got to say goodbye. Sadly, by the time I found out the date had changed to 6/10 and that was the day of our 39th wedding anniversary.
My life was forever changed. He was my high school sweetheart and we had married young at the age of 19. We had a wonderful marriage and truly loved one another. We thought we had so much more time together. So many plans that were just over. The grief was so overwhelming and I was so lost. My friend, my lover, my companion, my rock were all gone. Not only was I dealing with the tragedy of his death but having to endure the details of the criminal investigation, speaking with attorneys, insurance companies, and financial decisions. All at a time when you can barely function or stop crying. The grieving process is a long and very painful process. Sometimes I think I am doing pretty well and other times it just hits you all over again. The waves of pain are just as fresh as they were before. I am thankful I have three wonderful children and seven grandchildren to help me. My family, friends and my faith have got me through this first year. I have hope that my life will continue to improve. I know God and John would want for me to be happy. I will never stop loving John or forget him. I miss him every day but I will go on, to honor him and all the wonderful things we had and he taught me about life, love, laughter and family. I will always carry him with me in my heart and mind and I believe we will be re-united some day and then will be together for all eternity. He was my one and only true love.
I am glad to have found this site where we can share our feelings and our sorrow and possibly find comfort from others.