Just lost my grandmother a few hours ago

by Adam D.
(New York, NY )

the best emotion to describe how I'm feeling now is numb. I am 30 years old and lost my grandmother at 7:30pm tonight. It's now about 11 and I am just numb. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer back in October, 2009. Today is February 23rd, 2011. Usually people diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer have maybe 4 months to live. If you want to be depressed, just google final stages of Pancreatic Cancer, and you'll see it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Anyway, most people in my situation would be either crying or in a ton of pain. I on the other hand have been watching old home movies to relive the days she was well, and all was good in the world. Sigh. I just wish I knew what happened the moment of death. Does she see her parents who were taken from her decades before? Does she go straight to the stars? Does she get reincarnated? I feel so terrible for my grandfather...they were supposed to be celebrating their 60th Anniversary together in 2 weeks. I'm just devastated for him...I have no words on how he's going to be able to pick up the pieces now. I'm visiting him tomorrow in his house, which will be extremely strange since I've always known that house to have both of them. It's going to hit me soon that I will never have the chance to communicate to her or hear her voice ever, EVER again in this lifetime. Depressing.


Comments for Just lost my grandmother a few hours ago

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Feb 25, 2011
to Adam
by: amy

I am sorry for your loss. Enjoy the peace you are currently experiencing it is a natural reaction especially after someone died after a brutal illness.

My boyfriend died on 1/3/11 after a nasty bout of leukemia. I was at peace with it for a few weeks, knowing he was in a better place, but now in week 7 I am finally experiencing sadness and grief. It is all a process regardless of whether it is a partner, a friend or a family member.

I have found great comfort in reading about the afterlife. There are so many accounts that all describe a similar experience. At first I thought that I was losing my mind or turning into a witch, but the more I read I realized that there was religious and scientific evidence that these accounts were accurate.

I will just say based on my experience and what I have read, in the first 72 hours there is a transition period and during that period it is quite likely that the deceased will visit people. My boyfriend visited my daughter, myself and several friends.

I also went to a psychic to make sure he had passed safely. I do not like to recommend psychics because I know it is against some people's religious beliefs-but for me it was very helpful.

The most recent book I have read on the topic is Embracing the Light, but there is tons of writings out here on the internet.

Hang in there and know that your grandmother knows you love her.

Feb 24, 2011
We All Must Deal.........
by: TrishJ

My heart truly aches for you. I lost my husband three months ago. Nothing is ever the same again. Going into her home for the first time will be very strange (almost surreal). The love you have for your grandmother will never die but the space she once filled in your life will never be the same.

I've been reading a book called "Talking to Heaven." I highly recommend it. I started doubting my faith after my husband passed...is there really life after death??....will I see him again?.....is he with his family?....is he watching over us? I've been getting little signs from him and not even realizing it.

Don't be impatient. The grieving process is long and tedious. It takes real work but it's something we have to face. Be very supportive of your grandfather right now. He needs his family.
Blessings to you Adam.

Feb 24, 2011
I'm sorry
by: Melissa

Hi Adam,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandmother. I too, lost my Grandmother almost 4 months ago. She is my best friend and my rock. It is such an awful feeling. I was with her when she passed after a very long illness, and I thought the same things you mentioned...wondering what happened, and hoping she is with my Grandfather and her brothers and sisters. Each day without her is a monumental task for me, and I miss her with each of my breaths.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Take care, Adam.

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