Just not this week

by t meadows
(houston tx )

This past Saturday was the anniversary of the day my mother passed away July 24, today is July 26 my mother’s birthday Thursday July 29 was the day I laid her to rest…. My feelings of this has not gotten any easier the feelings are just as strong I still missed her I was 18 years old in 1995 when my mother past 10 years before this my father passed away I’m now 33 & in two weeks I’ll be 34.

I’ve heard time heals the heart; whoever wrote that must never have lost someone close to them. Time has not healed my heart; it made it tolerable day to day it's days like this….my mother’s birthday. No matter what I try to distract myself with I find myself back in 1995 all over again, especially when I look around my house and see her picture and my sister’s picture.

My younger sister looks exactly like her from her skin color to her nose etc… When my mother passed I took the responsibility of raising my sister she was 8 and I taught her everything I thought my mother would teach her. My sister is now 23 and lives on her own; she finished high school and started college so I hope our mother is proud, I’m supposed to be the strong one, but just not this week; I need the strength just to get out of bed. Two weeks from now I’m suppose to get happy for my birthday but I never do… actually I have not had a happy birthday since before I was 18 but no one knows because I’m the strong one..

I know others in my family say you got to go out & live your life but fortunately for them they all have their parents living whom they can call or go by to see at any time they want. I’m just thankful this site is out here for people like me because those around me just don’t get it. & if they do they wonder what’s taking me so long to get over this.. only if they knew they would not say mean things like that to people.. well this is part of my story I wanted to share .

Comments for Just not this week

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Jul 28, 2010
Loss of mother
by: Brenda

I lost my mother when I was 15 and then became mother to my little brother and sister. My mother was ill and had had 4 heart attacks. We knew we could lose her but still it was such a shock when we did.

My mother has been gone for 44 years now and I can still cry if I linger on the thought of her death. I try to think of the good times, but she too just had a birthday on July 19th and it was all I could think about that day.

I feel your loss and hope and pray that you will get stronger. I lost my 27 year old son on May 21, 2010 and it gave me some comfort that my mother would be there to greet and comfort my son.

Jul 27, 2010
Your Love Your Loss
by: Mom

Being a mom I can't help but be very concerned about your present state of mind. No one can tell you how or how long to grieve. I know that I miss my mother, father, and husband, all gone.
You were the strength all this time. Did you give yourself time to grieve while you were raising your sister, being super strong overcoming all griefs in a single bound?

I know that you hurt, I know that I don't want to celebrate any holidays almost 8 months in. But I do for my son. You haven't given yourself time to really address this head on.

Please little chickadee, go seek professional counseling with someone that you feel comfortable with. Search for that right person who gives you not just "I Knows", but really helps you restart your life and happiness. Your Mother Loves and is watching over you. She would want you to begin again. I know I do. HH

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