Just not this week
by t meadows
(houston tx )
This past Saturday was the anniversary of the day my mother passed away July 24, today is July 26 my mother’s birthday Thursday July 29 was the day I laid her to rest…. My feelings of this has not gotten any easier the feelings are just as strong I still missed her I was 18 years old in 1995 when my mother past 10 years before this my father passed away I’m now 33 & in two weeks I’ll be 34.
I’ve heard time heals the heart; whoever wrote that must never have lost someone close to them. Time has not healed my heart; it made it tolerable day to day it's days like this….my mother’s birthday. No matter what I try to distract myself with I find myself back in 1995 all over again, especially when I look around my house and see her picture and my sister’s picture.
My younger sister looks exactly like her from her skin color to her nose etc… When my mother passed I took the responsibility of raising my sister she was 8 and I taught her everything I thought my mother would teach her. My sister is now 23 and lives on her own; she finished high school and started college so I hope our mother is proud, I’m supposed to be the strong one, but just not this week; I need the strength just to get out of bed. Two weeks from now I’m suppose to get happy for my birthday but I never do… actually I have not had a happy birthday since before I was 18 but no one knows because I’m the strong one..
I know others in my family say you got to go out & live your life but fortunately for them they all have their parents living whom they can call or go by to see at any time they want. I’m just thankful this site is out here for people like me because those around me just don’t get it. & if they do they wonder what’s taking me so long to get over this.. only if they knew they would not say mean things like that to people.. well this is part of my story I wanted to share .