Just over nine months without my Sean Patrick

by Carol, Sean's mom
(Bellingham,Mass)

My hansome young man!

My hansome young man!

August 15th was the nine month mark for me. Depression has kicked in big time. I have become a sad,exhausted and just no life person. Seans death has crashed my world. I do not know how to even begin to start again. I am in a complete fog. I try for my two girls, we all struggle. This is an absolute nightmare. I never even thought something like this would ever happen. I took so much for granted. So don't others and they get to keep there children. I have always been thankful for my three beautiful children. I have always been one of those moms who talks about them constantly. Now I feel like no one even wants to listen. My relationships in this world have changed alot. My family doesn't know how to deal with this, how do they think I feel? Sean was such a part of who I am, I struggle to move forward. I am turning fifty in October. Sean would always tease me about being fifty. Now he isn't even here to be with me that day. He should of turned 25 on April 6th and we talked about him being half my age. I just miss so much. I miss him painfully. The pain in my body is always so bad sometime my fingers hurt. Every part of me is suffering this incredible loss. No one deserves this much pain....

Comments for Just over nine months without my Sean Patrick

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Aug 25, 2012
Need support too
by: Stonyalosco@bellsouth.net

Hi forgot to give u my email we can stay in touch along with the others responding who lost their child... Stonyalosco@bellsouth.net. My sons name was Chase oh beautiful inside and out... Live in jax fl he died April 21,2012 meeting me for ice cream ugh everyone talks about the accident because his motorcycle burned to the ground . My family has fallen apart....... I'm trying to stay strong but since I was keeping everyone together and now anger took over with them I have nothing more to give , no one understands a moms heartache ..... Why aren't they their for me ??

Aug 25, 2012
Understand
by: Anonymous

Lost my son 25 coming to meet me for ice cream on his motorcycle. Lady hit him going into a liquor store sat at 430 on a sunny after noon. Had helmet on but broke his neck sat there hearing ambulances . He was my oldest who wanted to hang w mom. I'm so sad surrounded with his step dad and brothers who don't want to talk about it . Four months now family falling apart all ganged up on me with their anger-// I'm in total disbelief over my family.

Aug 25, 2012
Just over nine months without my Sean Patrick
by: Doreen U.K.

Carol you are right. No one should have this much pain in their soul. I am sorry for your loss of your son Sean. I hate each new day after losing my husband 15 weeks ago. It doesn't seem real life anymore. Death alters who we are as people and as family. We go on ALONE even if we have other members in the family. It even adds to our pain and grief when family members are not supportive and alienate themselves from us as if we had some disease. they go on and live their lives (as they should) but with an air of couldn't care less about how the world is for others going through bereavement. It is this carelessness that is all too often expressed by most of those going through a loss. Even one day at a time is so very painfull. New memories of our loved one will intrude and our grief will flow in ways that is hard to cope with at times. I doubt another loss would be this painfull. It matters not how old our child was. Even an adult. It will hurt us forever. Children are attached to us by an umbilical cord. Even when this cord is cut at birth. It is still attached to our soul and cut off at death. the pain is like nothing we can put into words or express. Only GOD knows this pain. Grief sadly is a process that takes far too much time for us to HEAL from. No matter how positive a person is. They still go through the process of this pain. When I think of losing my husband I feel a sense of PANIC. HE'S GONE. FOREVER. HE ISN'T COMING BACK. I WON'T SEE HIM AGAIN. I CAN'T STAND THIS LOSS. Just nothing good that happens to us in life will compensate for our LOSS. We are SCARRED FOR LIFE. Till time HEALS that scar and the pain goes.

Aug 25, 2012
Sean Patrick
by: Alan

I"m so sorry for your loss, Carol.
My wife Donna of 35 years passed last December.
We didn't have children but I know what you mean.
I get the impression people want me to magically move on with my life, but it's all I can do to just survive most days.Seems like people don't want to or can't talk about this wonderful woman with whom I was fortunate enough to share my life with. Why? I ask myself " What are they afraid of "? I understand how difficult it is for most people, but don't they understand how impossibly hard it is for us? The pain, the tears, the loneliness.

Please Carol, know you are not alone, and please tell us about your son Sean Patrick any time you want!

May we all find the strength to carry on.

Aug 24, 2012
i know how you feel
by: maureen

Hi Carol all of your words are exactly mine, Your son is beautiful and I am so sad for you. I too turn 50 this year.I lost my 27 year old son Alan a year and a half ago. Half of my heart is missing.I remember well when my whole body physically hurt now it is just my heart. My family has not been a support but thank God for some wonderful friends who have been there they have saved me. I have always tried to get through just one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. I live in Mass also.If you would like my email it is mohun40@aol.com. My heart is with you and your son carol Maureen

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