Just To Hear His Voice Again
I lost my precious 22 year old son Justin in a single vehicle accident 6/6/14. He was living in Louisiana, and my husband and I live in Maryland. A grueling 20 hours after I received that dreaded home call, we made it to Louisiana and headed straight to the funeral home.It did not even look like my precious baby laying on that table, although he did not have a single scratch on him, his beautiful complexion was replaced by a grayish color. He was wearing a seatbelt, but lost control of his truck which flipped several times. He climbed out and called 911 himself just before he collapsed. He called me earlier in the evening to tell me that he was finding out the sex of his unborn baby and how excited he was to become a daddy. He told me that I would be an awesome grandmom and that he was saving up to visit up here for Christmas so that everybody could meet the baby. Justin and I were always very close. He wanted my advice for everything and had such an enthusiastic outlook on everything. His smile brightened the darkest room. A part of me died with him. He was my baby boy. I do have 2 other children, an older son and younger daughter, but Justin was my Justin. My baby. How does one survive? I cry all of the time. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I anxiously await a sign from him, but I see nothing. I just want my baby back. To hear his voice, see that millon dollar smile, hug him one last time. I keep trying to wake up from this nightmare, because that's what it feels like. Can anyone help or suggest something to at least make the days tolerable?