Just When I Thought That Things Couldn't Get Any Worse!!!!
On January 16, 2011 I lost my eldest child to an unknown illness. I never thought that this was possible! I truly believed that with time, any and all illnesses could be diagnosed. How wrong I was! After more than seven months, multiple countries, multiple hospitals, multiple doctors, multiple tests and even an autopsy, we were no closer to determining what killed our healthy, 6 foot, 200 pound, muscular, athletic son. How could this be? I still can't believe that my son is gone but I know that he is! As horrible as this is, I have accepted that he is no longer with us. I might not like it but I know that this is real.
As painful as it was to lose our son, tragedy still managed to search us out and find us again. At his funeral, many of us realized that a relationship was evolving between my son's fiance and his first cousin. We didn't want to accept this so we avoided the issue. Two weeks later, his fiance announced that she would be vacationing in Florida in the near future. This didn't feel right but I rationalized to myself that we all grieve differently and this might be her way of coping with the hand that she had been dealt.
Less than three months after my son had passed away, his fiance and cousin traveled to Florida to vacation together. Their relationship had evolved far beyond a friendship. Officially, they were now a couple. Apparently, they never meant for this to happen, it just did! Although my son's fiance was now in a new relationship, she continued to wear my son's engagement and wedding rings. How could she do this? Not only had she betrayed my son with his own cousin, she also refused to give my son's rings back to us. She was disrespecting the very person who she vowed to love completely for the rest of her life. We realized that she had to get on with her life but two weeks seemed a bit quick. Did she not think that she owed my son a bit more time to grieve his loss before entering into a new relationship? At least, could she not have found a boyfriend outside of our family?
It appeared to us that our son's fiance had no problem disrespecting nor betraying him! Not only was she accepting of her new relationship but my sister and her son also shared responsibility. None of these people could see anything wrong with the relationship that had formed. According to these people, our son was "dead" and they were happy. What was wrong with this? All I can say, is that I have a problem with this! I have a BIG problem with this!
For the life of me, I cannot understand how selfish all of these people are! I cannot understand how they can live with themselves. Why can't they just break all ties with us so that we can go on with our lives? Why didn't they think before they caused us any more grief? Did we not deserve any respect during our time of grieving?