by Karen Edwards
I am 51 years of age and live in the UK. I was married in 1983 and eventually managed to give birth to a lovely daughter in June of 1992.
In January 2011 my husband, Jon, started a new job and it was the plan that he would earn more money and we would be much better off financially. It was a big step for him to take but he felt ready at the age of 53 years to "do more with his career" as he felt he had more to give.
On the 9th February 2011 Jon came home at 7 p.m. and was his usual happy and upbeat self, full of tales about his day and his excitement about the new job was plain to see. At 9 p.m. he had a nose bleed, something he had never experienced in his life. He became very upset by the nose bleed and I tried to calm him down but to no avail. I went to the downstairs wc and whilst in there, heard Jon call my name in a tone I had never heard before. As I walked towards him he appeared to be fitting. I called my daughter downstairs to help me and called the ambulance. They talked me through CPR until the ambulance arrived and they said Jon had a thready pulse. We went to hospital, Jon was admitted at 10.05 p.m. and he was pronounced dead at 10.25 p.m.
A post mortem followed and we were told he had suffered a massive heart attack.
I had been for a mammogram the week prior to Jon's death and I was told in March that I had breast cancer. I really do not know how I have managed to get this far. The wish of death on my part has in the main subsided as I realise my 19 year old daughter needs me although she is at University and spreading her wings.
With my tragic loss, the breast cancer and its treatment and the "empty nest syndrome" I feel so sad. My life was so easy before and feel angry that I am left alone to deal with all of my problems. I do have good friends and a job I enjoy but none of this is enough. I just find every day seems to last for 48 hours.
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