by Karen matthews
(shildon, co. Durham, u.k.)
My mum died in April 2014 she was 93 and had dementia. She was handicapped due to arthritis had a permenant brokenharm I looked after her for over 15 years but since her 90th birthday she just deteriorated gradually wasn't very mobile without help started seeing things, saying strange things. I did everything for her. Got her washed and dressed. Made all her meals saw To her medication. She loved having her shower had a croft sherry every night. She wanted to die in her own home, but I feel so very guilty because i couldn't manage on my own. It was as 24 hour job seeing to her and she had to go in a home. She was only there for about a week until she died. I wished I had kept her in her own home. I miss her so very very much. I thought I was doing well I've been away for a week, and now I feel worse Than ever, crying, wandering around like a lost soul I don't like going out in case I start crying again then this morning the phone went and a woman asked to speak to Nellie Matthews, I couldn't believe it, I've done nothing but cry since. And I don't know what to do, wish someone would help me.