My 23 year old daughter Katie died on June 22, 2012. There is no recovery from grief. Those who are able to not feel grief after losing a child well I just cannot understand that. She was taken from me because the doctors did not know what they were doing. I am devastated and will never ever get over this agony. People have said to me, "you will feel better in a year". They have not lost their child. The anguish and pain in a mothers heart that opens up and a wound is formed and nothing will ever heal that wound. I cry and don't ask why because there is no reason why a child should pass before their parent. I will be with my daughter as soon as I am able. She is my life. She is my love.

Comments for Katie

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Aug 23, 2012
I am sorry to say that the pain never goes away
by: Anonymous

My 33 year old darling daughter, my only child, died nearly 7 years ago and I still cry for her every day. Not all day, as in the beginning. But there is some moment, maybe more than one, every day that takes my breath away, doubles me over in pain, or brings me to tears. I don't believe I am "depressed". I am simply sad for having lost the light of my life, my best friend, my reason, my past, my future.

I was a single parent for 19 of our years together, so we were exceptionally close. She is the one in whom all my hopes and all my memories were vested. I try every day to focus on the gratitude of having had this ray of sunshine in my life. She touched so many hearts, especially as she fought so hard to live. She is the bravest person I have ever known. She never wanted to feel different, she never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her, so she lived her life more fully than one could have believed possible with the serious health issues she faced.

I also remind myself every day that it is not about me; it is about her: Remembering her, celebrating her, loving her forever and always. She fought so hard for her life that I know she would not abide me throwing mine away in endless sorrow and desolation. But it remains a daily struggle to want to be here without her. It is truly, truly as though half of my heart - the better half - has been torn from me. I wish I could tell you all that "time heals": Your tragedy will become more bearable; you will learn to cope with the raw feelings you are experiencing; but you will never be the same and, if your journey is like mine, you will never be without a heaviness and sadness in your heart. The only alternative, once the worst has happened, would be to forget. And that we will not do.

Aug 01, 2012
Our Angels
by: Colleen

I have a daughter named Katy too. She was 23 also, when she died on July 8, 2012. We still don't know why she died. She'd been to the ER 3 days before complaining of severe chest pain. She had a pacemaker, but they could find nothing wrong. My husband found her dead in bed.
I know your pain. I feel it every day. A beautiful young life lost. So many people that are lost because of this. I feel as though I'll never quit crying. I walk around in a fog. Will it ever end?
We are going to a support group called Compassionate Friends. It's national, so maybe you could find one in your area. Our first meeting will be next week.
From Katy's mom to Katie's mom -- God bless you as you mourn.

Jul 19, 2012
I am sorry
by: carol,seans mom

I am so sorry for your pain. I lost my 24 year old son Sean eight months ago. He died on November 15,2011. I will say eight months later I am in unbearable pain and very depressed. I don't see this ending in a year. He was the oldest of three and my only son. He had so many things he still wanted to do in his life. They had everything still ahead of them. For those who say it gets better, I don't understand. I do work and I do care for his sisters, and I do function. I was once outgoing and now I stay to myself. I find life to be very painful. I am sorry I couldn't offer more positive thoughts but honestly when you lose a child positive thoughts are few and far between. I hope we do find some peace.. Take one day at a time and some days moment to moment.....

Jul 18, 2012
i share your pain
by: martha

I am so sorry you have to go through this. my son just passed away this past may. He had just come from visting friends. he was 19 came home about 130am i saw him walk in lock the door I came to work that sunday i walked by his bedroom I saw him move in his bed about 1030 am an hour later he had passed away I still do not know why I am filled with so much anger and keep saying it should have been me not him he was so young full of life he had so many plans he wanted to be a surgeon, my son had a good heart so i feel your pain and i know people mean well when they say it will get better in time but you have be in our shoes to understand our pain I cry everyday i have three other children that adored my son and i hate what this has done to them i just want my family happy and whole again

Jul 17, 2012
My Sympathy
by: Sharon

I'm so sorry for your lost and I understand as my mother was in the hospital for three weeks before they discovered what was wrong and by the time they did find out she was too sick to do chemo. Had they not placed her on the back burner maybe I could have spend more time with her. We put our faith in people who know so little and aren't willing to admit it. Again, sorry for your lost.

Jul 16, 2012
sharing your grief
by: Cathy

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Katie, i know no amount of words can comfort you, it is hard to think that she is gone and never coming back. I lost my angel Brandon 9 months ago and the loss is still awful i just cannot think where he is gone just wish i could be with him those who say things like you have to move on dont know what is to lose a child they have not lost one it is easier said than done anyway i send my love and blessings to you and that one day we may all have peace.

Jul 16, 2012
by: Karen

I am so sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing that will take away the pain because I lost my sweet daughter Courtney on the exact same day.

She was 26 and the love of my life. She was born with spina bifida, led a relatively normal life until age 20 when she began to have seizures. We consistently fought infections and ultimately, sepsis is what took her life. I can't imagine a time when I'll feel better, because my loss is not okay. It never will be. There are days I think I'm actually coping, but I'm not.

I grieve with you and for you, as I know the void that's been left with the loss of Katie. I hope you can find comfort and peace. I hope we both can very soon.

Jul 16, 2012
How fast life changes
by: Dee

I am so sorry your Katie is gone! What a beautiful person Katie must be! I know you are in horrible indescribable pain! I know that pain, that horrible ache. I don't believe you recover from the lose of a child. People say it gets better. Better than what? My child is gone in this life and I must live without her every day until I die! 17 months ago we lost our beautiful Kelly, the most loving caring person I have ever known at age 25. The pain is still so unbearable! It's unbelievable she is gone! I know you are really lost in your grief! The area over your heart physically aches! You've moved to what appears another world! I've learned to quiet myself. People turn away if I mention my grief. I quit talking. A parent should not have to be silenced because their child died. I feel I died that horrible day. Trying hard to find a piece of me, who I was. It's so very hard. I'm so exhausted from grief and having to pretend I'm okay so I don't lose my job. People say I'm sure she would want you to be okay! That doesn't take my pain away. I have my other beautiful daughter here. I tell Kelly I'll be there as soon as I can! I have to make sure your sweet sister, your best friend is okay! Be patient and do not be afraid I will be there, where ever there is! And if for some reason there is nowhere at least my suffering will still be over when I'm gone. Wish people would get over ther grief timelines! It's a lifetime event! I'm thinking of Katie as a sprite energy running around as I think of my Kelly this way! Maybe running around together! Thinking of you precious Katie and your loving mom! And ALWAYS thinking of you my sweet beautiful loving Kelly! I miss you so much and still can't believe this is real! Still holding my breath and walking quietly, waiting!

Jul 16, 2012
Your Love
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry you lost your beautiful Katie. I agree. Losing someone you love is terrible, especially your child. Your grief is so fresh that I would suspect you are still in shock. We rely on doctors to heal our child, not let them die. How can we ever prepare for the possibility that they won't make it? You have come to a place to help you heal. There won't be "stupid" remarks here because we have all experienced a loss and we've all heard remarks by those who want to say something, anything to help, but in their ignorance, they say things that hurt instead. We forgive them and go on. My husband said that grief is the hardest job he's ever had and I agree. We lost our son to suicide and it is a grief of a lifetime. No one can put a time table on your grief. It is personal. You feel what your body, mind and heart tell you to feel. It's awful pain, I know, but letting it out relieves the pressure and pain for a time. I did not think I could last a day or week or month, but I look back now to 6 years and I don't know how time has passed.Blessings, GT

Jul 16, 2012
a pain like no other
by: Kay

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful Katie.I know what you are saying,losing a child is a pain like nothing I have ever experienced...it is gut wrenching,all consuming heart ache...your heart actually aches and aches.I lost my 23 year old son in May 2010.The pain is still with me,still after 2 years I cry .Dean,my son was my life.I am thinking of you,sending lots of love your way.I,, like you cannot wait to join my child,to hold him in my arms.People do say the pain eases....not for me ..Unless they have lost a child ,they cannot begin to know the pain.You will be in my prayers.

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