kayla elizabeth manley-calavano

by elizabeth calavano(mom)
(amherst,NY)

You were a beautiful person inside and out. Gone to soon for reasons unknown. The lives you impacted in 21 short years is unimaginable. You were one of a kind- strong, loving, funny, compassionate, a "rock" and "the glue" for your friends. Your smile lit up the room and your laughter followed you everywhere.

You taught so many the true meaning of friendship and unconditional love. You were a leader, a friend a loving and adoring sister and daughter. You are truly unforgettable. In high school you were the VP of your business club DECA, on the national honor society and later the deans list at UB.

Kayla had recently taken the LSAT and began applying to law school where she planned to be a family law attorney to help children. Your compassion and love had no end. There just are not enough words in the English language to capture the essence of who you were.

You were my first baby, a precious gift from GOD taken too soon for reasons unknown. God's ways are not our ways but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier here without you.

Your love for family and friends is so keenly missed- nothing can or will ever fill the void that your passing has left for so many people. Your best friends warned us that the funeral home would be overwhelming and they were right- over 300 people came to say goodbye and we were told that the funeral procession looked like it was one for a dignitary- in a way you were- If there was ever an ambassador of love it was you.

Today makes 13 days since you passed and I still can't believe I will never see your smile, hear your laughter or hold you here on earth again. You are unforgettable. The void left in so many lives by your passing cannot and never will be filled. I love and miss you baby girl-mom

Comments for kayla elizabeth manley-calavano

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Aug 04, 2011
the countdown
by: Anonymous

it is 12 days to the anniversary of your passing and this all still feels so unreal to me-I still wake up in an absolute panic remembering that day-our lives were changed forever on that fatefull day-Now not only do i relive your birth but the day we found your lifeless body on that floor and the implications your final diagnosis meant for the rest of us and the real possibility of this happening to your brother too. Some days I feel you so close to me and yet so far-theirs a song i hear that says if heaven werent so far away and talks about what they would do if they could visit heaven and their loved ones makes me long for that so much it hurts. Losing your child is a grief so unique to itself and all the physical and emotional pain and issues that go with it-most days i just feel like i am losing my mind and would give anything to feel normal again but know there will never be a normal because you are no longer here-just a new reality that we struggle to find a way to deal with everyday. Thought tonight was our support group and was on my way when your stepdad called me to tell me i had the wrong week-just another thing to add to the list of "i cant remembers" for the past 11 1/2 months-unfortunately the image of you lying so still knowing u were gone i cant forget. So many dreams and hopes left with you and the total feeling of hopelessness and being lost is unbearable most days.I try to remind myself so many others are going through this too and some days it helps-others i just feel so alone and lost. Your room remains the same-some days the need to pack up your things is so great I don't know why but everyone else becomes horrified that i would even consider this. I would give my life to bring you back but at least I know where you are and have the hope of a reunion again someday. I love and miss you so very much baby girl and only hope that you truly knew just how much you were loved-missing you forever-momma

Jul 21, 2011
11 long months
by: elizabeth(momma)

It has been 11 long lonely months without you here-still struggle everyday with accepting this as real and the closer it gets to august the more i am flashing back in horror to that day and beg God to bring you back. Everyday is such a struggle just to continue without you here. I can still hear your laughter, the way you spoke and had a really hard time today looking at the last text messages shared by you and chrissy on august 14th. I can't imagine another day here without you let alone the possibility of many more years. I still visit your grave almost daily-i tell myself its to water the flowers but its really because i still need to see it for the reality to sink in-yet i cant seem to escape the daily reality if that makes any sense-i drive your car, carry your cell, wear some of your clothes and wear your ring around my neck-your kitty has become mine and yet my brain tries to convince me you are just on a trip somewhere and i wait for your return. The anger you held at times for your father has become my own as after 11 months he has made no effort to help pay for your funeral or burial-feels like the final slap in the face after such a long time of the same. I miss you so much and can actually understand the saying that people die from a broken heart-some days thats what i feel like-loving you forever baby girl-momma

Nov 19, 2010
grief
by: liz c

I am home alone tonight and in my mind I keep wondering where my little girl is and then i flash back to august 15th and the panic attacks start all over again. I visit your grave almost everyday-feel like i have to -need to see your name there and where i laid my baby girl for the final time for my brain to start to accept what my heart can not. Feel like the tears will never end and they probably never will. Every day, everywhere i go there are reminders of you and I miss u so much-i feel so cheated- feel like u were cheated yet u are the one person i know who lived everyday to its fullest. Dont know when or if this will ever feel real to me although I know you are no longer here physically. I have had so many messages from u after u passed but nothing lately.Ur with so many people now who have passed on before u and i only wish i could trade my life for yours-i would in a heartbeat. No one can ever fill the hole in my heart and life that has been left by u.U are one of a kind and the precious baby girl of my dreams and my longing to see u,hold u and talk to u will never end.i love u so much baby girl.Now and forever-momma

Nov 14, 2010
our dog
by: your momma

Well baby girl- it is finished for your puppy Hunter- we brought him home when you were 11 and last night he went to sleep and didn't wake up.Your baby brother is devastated but I figured you needed Hunter with you more than we did- celebrated my 42nd birthday without your crazy singing to me- such a difficult day and then the next hunter passed away. You are loved and missed more than words can ever express- play it well with Hunter in heaven- longing for the day I can hold you again- momma

Sep 24, 2010
missing u
by: elizabeth calavano

Back at work-day 2 and blindsided when i realized noone has told my pts. why ive been out- cant believe i have to relive this pain over and over again with 20 more people. sunday is 6 weeks since God called u home and still no answers as to why or what happened-the pain is unbearable-all the joy left when u did baby girl-try so hard for your little brother to keep it together until i realized then he felt he couldn't say anything-the first day i was truly honest with him he finally quietly said "i'm sad". Bought a disney princess watch (in pink of course) with your favorite Belle on it to wear for work-everyday seems like a nightmare that ill never wake from-you were such a beautiful person inside and out and i struggle everyday with a reason why u were taken so suddenly-a healthy happy vibrant young woman here one minute -gone the next-today is your friends may 21st bday-libby and chrisy and amys mom are going to brockport to be with her- you would have cooked up some crazy surprise for amy and then told me stories for days later- how i miss our talks and the stories of u and your friends-i miss your smell and spray your perfume but its not the same-i miss your smile,laughter and love-im taking good care of your baby oreo kitty-she misses u too but has adjusted well-i know that's because u have had to help her with that- she went to no one but u-love and missu so much-mommy

Sep 24, 2010
I just miss you
by: Tarrie

Kayla- I just miss you. I want you to come to my house. I want to talk to you. I want to laugh with you. You were too full of life it doesn't feel like this could really happen-I miss you.

Sep 20, 2010
My FAVORITE cousin.
by: Mia Rose

My lovely cousin, Her smile, her laugh, Just seeing her, made me smile and happy.
She was my favorite cousin and that won't EVER change. I miss you truly over 5 weeks have been gone since I've seen you, And I'm in complete pain. I remember you telling me on Wednesdays Me and Michael could come over because you were off from work. I remember being in the pool and you telling me I was your favorite cousin, And I'll never forget that. I remember jumping in the pool with you and Olivia. I can only pray for the day to come when I see you again. That'd be the best day.
You were the most loving happy and exciting girl in the world, and I'll never forget you.

I love you my pretty Girl.

Love Mia

Sep 12, 2010
1 month since you passed-21 years young
by: your mom

today marks one month since you passed and still no answers as to what happened. Will never know why while still upon this earth-God has his reasons and his ways are not ours.I miss you so much today it hurts. If I could freeze time i would freeze it on august 14th forever so you'd always be here. Went to church and the sight of a little girls sweater(baby) reminded me instantly of you as a baby and i started to cry. Went to the cemetery today and brought you more flowers from the garden-probably the last for the season. You always loved my flower gardens. Everything reminds me of you and the pain is unbearable. You should be here graduating this year and going off to law school, getting married and having beautiful babies-but that wasn't Gods plan.

Still so unreal for me that you are gone. All i know is I love you with all of my heart and miss you with every fiber of my being. Life will never be the same again. Jesus hold my baby girl for me until i can be with her again.

Sep 04, 2010
your degree
by: elizabeth(kaylas mom)

You were entering your senior year at college. Friday UB called me to tell me after reviewing your record you had enough credits to earn your degree-not your double major though.I asked them to process it and they will let me know if I can accept it for you in June with your graduating class. If they do it will be the second hardest day of my life. Your stepdad asked how did I think I could do this and I just said if I have to cry across the stage I will but I will do this in your honor and memory. You worked so hard for it. I love and miss u so much baby girl.
Love mom

Aug 29, 2010
I understand your pain
by: Anonymous

I am truly sorry for your loss and feel the depth of your pain, for it too is my pain. My 19 year daughter passed this year on May 13. Nothing has been the same for me since her passing. I understand your pain.

Aug 29, 2010
love
by: Kay

Elizabeth
I am so so very sorry to hear about your baby girl, I know just how empty you feel and the pain you are going through. I lost my 23 year old son in May. It still feels like it was yesterday, i will never ever be the same person I was.....I am thinking of you and sending you love and healing.....its a tough road.I sit up at night scouring the internet for something to help me, people with the same grief as me, cause only a mother could understand the pain....love Kayxoxox

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