Kenneth M. Gray ~The Bear~ age 69
by julie I
(columbus ohio usa)
me and my daddy
You were taken so fast, we knew your time was short with us but to be taken that soon was much to fast. For years I helped to care for you after you started to have strokes. I pushed you hard to lift your feet when you walked, so that you would not lose you legs. I know I was doing the right thing trying to keep you moving. Then 3 years ago I was told after a CT you would have 3 to 5 years do to the altimezers. I cried myself to sleep that night begging for you to stay 10, 15 or 20 years more. How was I to go on. Over the next 3 years I toke you to the VA for doctor appointments and more. I dealt with your hitting of the dash. You hated being in a car going faster then 30 MPH. I knew this but there was no other way to go but the free way to get there. Things would slow and your walking became less and less every day. I begged God to heal you. After all you are my daddy and I needed you. Then days after mom had surgery and was in a coma, you were left with a family friend and you went looking for mom and to get a glass of ice. Ice the only thing you had by mouth really for 9 years now. That morning you fell and broke your hip. If only I knew then that I had less then a year left with you. You went to rehab only to beg to come home often and I begged you to understand I could not yet do so. Once mom joined you, you were a little happier. Then they broke your leg. You had to stay longer after mom left. We got you home only you could no long walk at all and things became harder. With my traveling for Ivory treatments to fight the cancer that could take her life you understood. We sent you to the VA home land where you loved it but wanted to be closer to us and we to you. So wer brought you to a place closer. 5 min not an hour and a half away. I loved seeing you. I know there were days where I could not get to you even 5 min away. With Ivory you little buddy fighting illness herself from the cancer that almost toke her from us. I had to travel with her often 2 hours away. Then came the day I had to take her for her last big surgery, a month I said I would be gone. I begged the Lord to keep you safe while I was gone. Little did I know that 4 days short of a month I would make it home only to end up in the ER and placed in the hospital for 2 days needing blood. I signed myself out knowing I needed to see you. I needed to see my daddy. Only it was late they said. I begged to see you and I finally agreed to wait until the next day. Only there would be no next day to see your smile. For 6 hours later there was a knock at my door and when I opened it I was face to face with words that I feared "Dad is dead" They say I screamed. They say I almost passed out. I dont remember. I just know that I ended up next to you as you looked as if you were sleeping holding your hand. I begged for you to return. For 2 hours I stayed there holding your hand praying for this bad dream to go away. Dad you served this country in the Navy. Fighting for what you believed in. For that I can never thank you enough. But most important thing you ever did for me was love me and hold my hand. Dad I love you so much. I promised you years ago I would care for mom. And you often return to my dream to remind me that you love love me and of my promise. And that I will do my best. Please know daddy I love you. Your smile lives on in my daughter who smiles that same smile.
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