kevin 4 yrs of pain

by kaz
(scotland)

Its been 4yrs(4 july) since my son hanged himself. He was 21.the pain it not everyday now but when it comes its huge. It still hurt. It can happen at anytime. I have to take time off work and get medication. Kevins big sister was the one that found him and she has coped and grown into an amazing strong woman as has his young sister. Me on the other has not and feel a complete faliure as a mom to all 3 of my childeren. 8 months after kevins death my husband left me so i was and still am grieving both. My boyfriend of 2yrs has been amazing. If not for him and my daughters i dont think id still be here.

Comments for kevin 4 yrs of pain

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Aug 25, 2014
Kevin 4 years pain
by: Julie

Hi my name is julie my son hung himself on July the 6th this year my partner left me as he can't cope with my grief may I ask if your son showed any signs there are widows widowers orphans were do we mums fit in I was told off a councillor he was a man it was his choice (as you can understand me a left at that moment didn't return ) hope you don't mind me responding to your letter

Aug 07, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

What pain we have to endure. I'm so sorry for your loss. We do think we were not a good enough mother,it's part of grief to think could have done something that might change how it went. It's because it's so hard to accept it. It's normal to go through that but don't get stuck there. Keep pushing to get better in your grief.your daughter is a true help. Pull together with her.god can give us strength to go on in this sorrow. I am hugging you from afar but close in care. Be good to yourself.

Aug 05, 2014
kevin 4yrs. of pain
by: Doreen UK

Kaz you have faced 2 of the worst experiences in life. Losing your son and your husband also by walking out on you. This is a grief too much to bear. Don't beat yourself up feeling you are not a good mother because you find it difficult coping right now. Go and see a grief counsellor for the extra support you need right now. Our families try their best but often may not be able to cope with the turbulent emotions you feel. Losing a child/adult child is the worst experience of a mother's life. Especially the type of death. You also need to make sure that the sister who found her brother hanging may have been traumatised but not showing it, and may come out later. Just watch for any changes in behaviour or moods that may be worrying. In cases of suicide there may be no answers. Often young people feel hopeless and helpless to change their world and feel miserable so end their misery by taking their life. My nephew threw himself in front of an express train 9yrs. ago at the age of 30yrs. and changed our world forever. My sister was a wreck but a grief counsellor had to go to her home and pick her up. She has recovered better through this help and support.
It will take a long time for you to get your life back. You will never get over losing your child. You will just learn to live with it in a different way. I am sorry for your loss.

Aug 05, 2014
Kevin
by: Gale

I am so sorry to hear about your loss - I know how difficult it is to accept the fact that our child is gone ( I too lost my son) and because of the overwhelming pain, I work really hard at accepting help. I'm in therapy and that has been a God sent. Also I'll be starting a support group next month with bereaved parents of adult children; something I hope will be comforting, informative and supportive.
Please try not to beat yourself up over this - I wish you peace.
Gale

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