Kimberly/ Gage's Mommy

by Kimberly

My name is Kim & my sons name is Gage. He died in 2006. Just 9 days after he turned 3. I didn't beg GOD to save him. Instead , just before I gave my son a breath, I asked GOD for his will to be done. I did however , earlier that day ask GOD to please help me with him because he was so hard to handle on my own without his father. I sometimes doubt that prayer. I didn't want to be selfish & I wasn't sure if my son would suffer if he lived. I know GOD did not want him to suffer/ that HE needed my son more than I or The Lord felt Gage would be better w him. I don't know..
But what I DO know is that a few days prior to my sons death I felt that something was pulling Gage from me. I told my mother that I felt like something was trying to take Gage away from me. My mother said she would pray & she did. So did I......
Well... It happened... He was hit by a car & he died....I knew that something was going to take him from me...
With that.. I think it's why I didn't beg for him to stay on this earth.
Since that time, I have tried to move on, trading one addiction for another. I get through the day without killing myself because I know the pain it causes others if someone dies before their time. (Or before WE think its their time).
I know that one day I will be w my little Gagey Boy again.
So I thank GOD that he is using my son for his purposes. I know the pain of losing a son. I think that GOD has made a better place for him, as he also lost his son Jesus.
Please....don't get me wrong. It's been almost 7 years... I'll only recover when I'm called home also.
I think of Gage All the time. I never feel him near me.. I only know that he is near. I ask God to allow Gage to watch over his older sisters to protect them.
He does .
I struggle everyday...
Well, that's a portion of my story.
Thank you for reading.

Comments for Kimberly/ Gage's Mommy

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Jan 30, 2013
Kimberley/Gage's Mommy
by: Doreen U.K.

Kimberley most of the Christian life is about struggle. This is how God develops our character. But Death. Well this hurts so much. My husband of 44yrs. died almost 10 months ago from a serious and rare form of lung cancer. Even though I knew his cancer was terminal I still Prayed for a miracle. I was so desperate I emailed every Christian Radio and TV Station all over America for prayer for Healing. Steve did not get Healed. He died. I was angry for a long time. I still am angry if I watch the God Channel and hear about God Healing people and then I begin to think I did something wrong? or perhaps I didn't pray the right way? Perhaps I didn't have enought Faith? I feel the emptiness and lonliness of his death. Nothing in life will ever be the same again. WE can't expect too much of ourselves in Grief. God will bring Healing to your broken heart in Time. But the Healing process is very slow. I am sorry for your loss.

Jan 30, 2013
Gods comfort
by: VJ

We don't always understand why God allows what He does, but it is crucial for us (as His sons & daughters) to KNOW how much He loves us & watches over us. He wants us to trust Him & seek to find rest in Him. It may take some time for this to happen or it might be immediate. In any case, KNOW that He has you & is holding you in the palm of His hand. Encourage yourself in the Lord & rest in His peace & joy.
Signed, One Who Is Praying For Your Strength

Jan 27, 2013
by: Debi M.

Kim -

I am so sorry for the loss of your son Gage. Just cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I hope that over time you have found some comfort and peace. Wishing you strength.

God Bless,
Debi M.

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