Knowing you won't have a mum to watch you grow up

by lexi

About 3 weeks ago my mum died of cancer and had been battling it for 11 years. She had mouth cancer, lung cancer and on the night she died she got bone cancer and the worst part about it is! That she was such a healthy woman and never smoked in her life just very unlucky :( Ive only just turned 15, I'm an only child I've got no family apart from my dad and ever since I've been a little girl my mums been sick. I don't even remember the last time she wasn't sick. My mum was actually my best friend she's been there for me every time I've needed her threw thick and thin and i promised her that id be there for her when ever she needs me. Ill never forget sitting in the chair by her bed for 38 hours watching her body go colder and colder sitting there watching your mum die slowly in pain is the worst thing you can ever experience as a child. I feel so lonely and practically like I'm left hanging off a shred. My dad has my mums mobile and he hasn't took that answering machine off yet and every time i call him and he doesn't answer it goes straight to 'Hi, this is Liz I'm not here at the moment so please leave a message and ill get back to you'. I just feel like saying 'Hi mum, can you please come back, i miss you not being here' but deep down inside i know she will never get back to me, never ever.

Comments for Knowing you won't have a mum to watch you grow up

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Apr 26, 2013
by: Anonymous

I´m very sorry that herd about your
mom died, i know this sad time because My mother has also died of cancer she have stomach cancer, last days cancer spread the all body. she died 31 march 2013, when my mother died i was there. My heart goes to all the people who have suffered the pain of losing their mother .
Aftab Khan

Apr 22, 2013
Knowing you won't have a mum to watch you grow up
by: Doreen U.K.

Lexi I am sorry for your loss of your mum at such a young age. I am sad also for your loss of relationship due to your mother being ill for so long in your young life that this is most of what you know of her. The loss of not having had a normal life and upbringing, due to your mother's cancer.
I lost my husband 11 months ago to lung cancer. We were married 44yrs. My husband worked with a deadly substance of ASBESTOS and 40yrs. later a slow growing cancer was growing in his lungs and so his cancer was incurable, inoperable, and aggressive. TERMINAL. He struggled in pain for 3yrs.39days and I was his caregiver and had to watch my beloved husband die a slow painful death. So I agree with you that this is the worst pain to go through watching someone you love so much die slowly before your eyes and you feel so helpless that you can only do so much for them. My sadness is that you are so young to go through this. It has scarred your life in many ways. You could benefit from counselling and just have someone impartial to talk to about your mum and family life, and the cancer journey. You will have a privileged space to grieve and be in a better position to move forward through life. With good support get your life back on track and know how you want to go on in life after schooling, choosing a career, and working life that will help you move forward. Being an only child brings it's own lonliness and now with your mother having passed away your lonliness will feel worse. I hope that You will be comforted in your grief and sorrow and that you and your dad will grow closer and have a rich relationship with will help you both become stronger, closer, and cope with your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. It was beautifully written and an inspiration to all facing grief. Best wishes.

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