Last time with my son
Well son, I just admitted to myself I don’t know how to live without you. You were my life for 23 years; you may not have realized it, but most everything I did was for you, to make your life better, or easier. Even after all the hell you put us thru in Epping, I still felt the same way. It may not have seemed that way sometimes to you. We had our fights, but I still loved you and always will.
I am trying to find a life for myself. I guess that is why I bought the motor home, cause I knew you were going to be gone to Canada soon. Not the way you are now, I planned on visits, phone calls, email.
But I knew I needed to build a life of my own, now I have to do it with out the phone calls etc…..
Damm you Jake. I’m sure you cussed me as you left the house. How could I call the cops? Well the way you were acting I knew I couldn’t help you. You were not in your right mind. You had been taking cold pills all week, and then you started drinking that day.
You grabbed a pen, aimed it at your eye and said "I die now". What was I to think? You were too big for me to handle, and you had already taken a couple of half-hearted swings at me. And then you were talking like a Star Trek character .
This is how my son left.
A police officer showed up just as I was leaving work the next day to let me know my son had killed himself.